Quote: (From .org)
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Aww chris I was hoping to stir the pot a bit more than that! I guess you know me too well
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Craig...you know I think the world of you so I decided that you...and only you...would get to hear about my epiphany concerning the all new and improved SRT-10 Coupe:
Late last Sunday...about 10:30 p.m...I had decided that I just hadda have a root beer slurpee from 7 dash 11. I thru on a pair of flip-flops and slid some sweatpants over my cutoffs and dashed off to my nearest slice of heaven. As I pulled up to my favorite parking place right in front of the dumpster I noticed off to the right that a car had parked BEHIND the dumpster and was partially covered in a silk car cover with the words "THIS IS NOT A VIPER COUPE" on the leading edge. Obviously, my curiosity was peaked and I proceeded into the establishment with eyes peeled...looking for both the ATM (for my slurpee money), the actual slurpee productin machine and hopefully, the driver of said "behind the dumpster" automobile. After making sure that I had enough in my account...I withdrew $5 from the ATM and then sauntered around the store...casually looking for other eccentric type Viper owners such as myself. None were seen. I checked the candy aisle, the midget-sized magazine rack, the lottery station, the day old Krispy Kreme bin and the money order department. No one there looked like they even owned a car...much less one with a silk car cover. I proceeded to the slupee machine arena and began filling up my cup with that erotic juice that makes the farting noise while it flows into the waiting cup. Unbelievably, I had just about farted my way to the "fill-to-here-or-we-will-hunt-you-down-and-force-you-to-do-things-with-our-slurpee-straws" edge when up from behind me I hear a voice asking which flavor I thought would go well with sauerkraut. Startled, I turned to see who was speaking to me with such a heavy, yet hauntingly familiar, German accent. I told him my name was Clark and the Bay Rum-Vodka Tonic slurpee was the one he wanted to go with. I told him it was fruity without actually having seeds. Pretty neat.
Anyway...the fellow told me his name was Wolfgang and he was just passing thru town on his way to Stuttgart and had just picked up a combo meal #6 at Wienerschnitzel and needed something to wash it down while he headed on down the road. As he began to fart his slurpee into the cup I realized that this guy was the owner/operator/ex-chief of the car parked behind the dumpster. Without giving away too much information...the conversation went like this:
Clarkie: Say...that your silk car cover blowing against the dumpster out back?
Gangie: Yep...the one that smells like rotten apples(dumpster that is)?
Clarkie: Yep...is that a car under that cover or are you just a silk car cover salesman?
Gangie: Yep...thar's a car under thar a-right. A pretty neat car as a matter of fact.
Clarkie: What kinda car is it?
Gangie: Well...no one else can know this...especially the Canadians...but it's a brand new Viper Coupe...only one of its kind...and I've got it.
Clarkie: Any chance I could look at it...take about 1000 pictures...and post it all over the internet?
Gangie: Well...just so long as the Canadians don't get to see 'em. I guess a few 1000 or so wouldn't hurt. Let's go on out to the dumpster.
Clarkie: I've got you covered on your slurpee Gangie...I run a tab here.
Out we go. Gangie pulls the silk cover back and the car gleams with a brilliance I have not seen since I bought that engagement ring with the Cubic Zirconia stone that my baby loves so much. I pulled out my Kodak and starting snapping away. Amazing car...sort of a deep orange exterior(University of Texas) with a mahogany interior complete with brass trim. The interior was a leather base with crocodile stitching and it all fit extremely well. Gangie pulled the hood and I immediately noticed that the engine was "different". He wouldn't tell me what the HP rating was but he did let me know that the name Wankel would be emblazoned on the valve covers in the final edition of the car.
With that final comment...Gangie closed the hood...hopped into the car...pulled down the gull-wing doors(they were actually painted white...just like a gull). Pull started the motor and drove off thru the alley behind the 7 dash 11. It was an awesome sight and one that I wish I could share with all of you...but I promised that no Canadians would be able to see the pictures and quite honestly...I don't know how many of you VCA'ers are Canadian or have Canadian ancestory or have been to Canada or know someone that has.
I can tell you this....go to VOI...and ask those in authority where the silk-covered car is parked..or better yet...just ask them where the dumpsters are. And maybe..just maybe...you might get to see the new Wankel powered Dodge SRT-10 Coupe before anybody else does.
Good luck Craig...if anyone deserves a pic of this new car it is you my friend.
I know my deposit check is ready.
Your Trusting Pal,
Clarkie