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A cornucopia of wit by the late great master, Mumford. So much good stuff and he finishes 'the Boy' off with the final sig. LOL. The same Lawboy as here? Dunno, but it is certainly applicable.
From the good ol' morgue days.
16/10/02
Lawboy:
yes i am a plaintiff's trial lawyer. yes, i do earn an 8 figure income.
Mumford:
Memo to Lawboy:
People who make 8 figures don't run around telling others that they make 8 figures. Especially when nobody asked! I bet at any given point 15,000 people are wearing Emmitt Smith jerseys in public. But guess who isn't wearing an Emmitt Smith jersey when he rolls into Subway for a grinder? Emmitt Smith!!!
I also especially appreciate the inventory of cars and 'future cars'. I found myself wondering what car your wife drives and which cars you plan on buying someday until I found it at the bottom. I'm sure you saved all of a us from having to email you requesting that vital information along with how much money you make. Nice touch, dork!
WAR LIONEL HUTZ!!!!!!!!!
Lawboy:
...if u dont like it then dont read it.
Mumford:
Niiiiice job, Matlock. I bet clients are beating down your doorstep to pay you tens of millions for epic advice like that. I guess all of us could be making '8 figures' if we could just decide if we like what we read before we actually read it. Mensa called...they want their membership back.
Lawboy:
who the hell are u to tell me if and whether i can tell people what i make in income? guess what? u can't. i will tell people whatever i want to.
Mumford:
Once again you justify your '8 figure' skills with exemplary logic and grammar. I don't recall telling you that you can't act like an tool; I just recall 'burning' you for doing so. Keep up the good work!
And BTW, I'm PMUM, Mr. Mum if you're nasty!
Lawboy:
i thought you would come up with much better zingers!
Mumford:
Niiiice take Xtreme LawNeck! Even though you must make FAR more money than him, try to take a lesson from your mental superior, Mike Tyson. After he got thoroughly worked over by Lennox Lewis last week he graciously admitted defeat.
Proclaiming "that didn't hurt" whilst scurrying off to the 'burn clinic' isn't a proper defense. Feel free to contact your 'neck brethren in Tejas to find the closest 'burn clinic' location. The Serious One & BSingle will surely know quite a few locations.
You should've used your "My Billionaire Friend" defense. That was a really sweet 'zinger' that could only come from somebody that gets paid '8 figures' to be a LawHack.
Because I'm such a nice guy I'll give you some defense tactics right up your alley for future reference:
1) The "Chewbacca Defense" always comes in handy in any situation when you're getting torched.
2) The "If the SCUD Don't Fit, You Got's to Acquit Defense" should be right up your alley.
3) The Patriot Missile of defenses, though, is the "Dear Wiz, I'm Getting Torched Daily. Please Change My Name and Make Me a Moderator Defense". This truly outstanding defense was pioneered by the venerable Xtreme Moderator/Baconi/Hoodbeef/Pierce. This Superman 1 style Defense has the ability to turn back time and undo the powerful damage of a well placed SCUD.
I offer those defense mechanisms to you to use at will. Some people call me a giver...I just call it doing the right thing!
Yo Soy Out!
----------------
'02 Lawboy (my ride)
From the good ol' morgue days.
16/10/02
Lawboy:
yes i am a plaintiff's trial lawyer. yes, i do earn an 8 figure income.
Mumford:
Memo to Lawboy:
People who make 8 figures don't run around telling others that they make 8 figures. Especially when nobody asked! I bet at any given point 15,000 people are wearing Emmitt Smith jerseys in public. But guess who isn't wearing an Emmitt Smith jersey when he rolls into Subway for a grinder? Emmitt Smith!!!
I also especially appreciate the inventory of cars and 'future cars'. I found myself wondering what car your wife drives and which cars you plan on buying someday until I found it at the bottom. I'm sure you saved all of a us from having to email you requesting that vital information along with how much money you make. Nice touch, dork!
WAR LIONEL HUTZ!!!!!!!!!
Lawboy:
...if u dont like it then dont read it.
Mumford:
Niiiiice job, Matlock. I bet clients are beating down your doorstep to pay you tens of millions for epic advice like that. I guess all of us could be making '8 figures' if we could just decide if we like what we read before we actually read it. Mensa called...they want their membership back.
Lawboy:
who the hell are u to tell me if and whether i can tell people what i make in income? guess what? u can't. i will tell people whatever i want to.
Mumford:
Once again you justify your '8 figure' skills with exemplary logic and grammar. I don't recall telling you that you can't act like an tool; I just recall 'burning' you for doing so. Keep up the good work!
And BTW, I'm PMUM, Mr. Mum if you're nasty!
Lawboy:
i thought you would come up with much better zingers!
Mumford:
Niiiice take Xtreme LawNeck! Even though you must make FAR more money than him, try to take a lesson from your mental superior, Mike Tyson. After he got thoroughly worked over by Lennox Lewis last week he graciously admitted defeat.
Proclaiming "that didn't hurt" whilst scurrying off to the 'burn clinic' isn't a proper defense. Feel free to contact your 'neck brethren in Tejas to find the closest 'burn clinic' location. The Serious One & BSingle will surely know quite a few locations.
You should've used your "My Billionaire Friend" defense. That was a really sweet 'zinger' that could only come from somebody that gets paid '8 figures' to be a LawHack.
Because I'm such a nice guy I'll give you some defense tactics right up your alley for future reference:
1) The "Chewbacca Defense" always comes in handy in any situation when you're getting torched.
2) The "If the SCUD Don't Fit, You Got's to Acquit Defense" should be right up your alley.
3) The Patriot Missile of defenses, though, is the "Dear Wiz, I'm Getting Torched Daily. Please Change My Name and Make Me a Moderator Defense". This truly outstanding defense was pioneered by the venerable Xtreme Moderator/Baconi/Hoodbeef/Pierce. This Superman 1 style Defense has the ability to turn back time and undo the powerful damage of a well placed SCUD.
I offer those defense mechanisms to you to use at will. Some people call me a giver...I just call it doing the right thing!
Yo Soy Out!
----------------
'02 Lawboy (my ride)
