That's because their just aren't that many Vipers out there anymore. You have two categories that are the norm in Viper sales. Garage Queens and Wrecked cars. Their aren't many like us (the majority on this forum) that actually drive their cars as they were designed. As such, not many 30-60K mile cars out there and when they pop up they sell fast if reasonably priced as their are way more people in your shoes looking for a nice driver than their are sellers of nice drivers. It took me about 2 years to find my car which is a 98 GTS that I got for $38K about 5 years ago now (had 13K miles on it).
Yes, we are assholes here, comes with the car I guess, but our advice is not because we want to piss you off, it's because we've been their, done that and got the T-shirt many times already. Plus we've seen a couple dozen people that join here, ask the same things and fade off into the sunset because they thought someone here would just dump their car to be nice to them.
Since you mentioned "entitled". When you go to a car forum that specializes in a particular car and you try to act like you know more than the people living in that market for 5-25 years it makes you come off as a spoiled entitled person so we're going to treat you as such. You can spout out a couple cars that met your criteria but that doesn't mean it's the market, just like we could show you some GTS that fetched over 100K recently, which also doesn't speak to the current standard market. Again, nobody is saying never but it's going to be hunt to find a car in that price that is worth having especially if you plan to actually drive it. I still think you best option is to find a wrecked car that was put together properly. That will be close to your budget and will most likely need less to keep it on the road reliably.
P.S. - Buy one with a radiator leak. I have a spare radiator in my garage that I'd like to sell