Sing Along With Elvis and Me

KENNY's VIPER · January 13th, 2007, 09:31 AM

Oh please release me, let me go
For I just dont want to be here anymore
To waste my Roe would be a sin
Release me and let me drive again

I have found a new tuner dear
And I will always want him near
His hands are warm while yours are cold
Oh release me, my darling tuner let me go

Let me go, oh release me, my darling tuner
Let me go

Everybody now.....................................

v10kingsnake · January 13th, 2007, 09:41 AM

douche...

KENNY's VIPER · January 13th, 2007, 10:02 AM

This is getting serious. I don't know how long I can hold out before Stockholm syndrome sets in and you will see me slopping down Tom Yum Kung at the Thai House with my entire motley crew of captors.

KENNY's VIPER · January 13th, 2007, 03:39 PM

Ok, here's an idea. Do any of my Viper brothers have a couple spare cannisters of weaponized Fentanyl laying around that they don't need anytime soon? You could release it into the ventilation system here at the shop and while my captors take a well deserved nap, yank me out of a rear door with military spec grappling hooks. Khao rad gang is on me at the Thai House for all who participate in the raid.

CS · January 13th, 2007, 09:19 PM

Wirelessly posted (Motorola Q: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0; Google Wireless Transcoder

)

This is actually pretty funny.

KENNY's VIPER · January 14th, 2007, 10:05 AM

This one is sure to get me home, please sing it with me and as you do, click the heels of your ruby slippers together.................

In this dirty old part of Orlando
Where the mechanics refused to work
People tell me there ain't no use in tryin'

Now I once was so young and pretty
And one thing I know is true
My tires will dry rot before my tune is through, I know

Watch my daddy in Ohio a-cryin'
Watched his hair been fallin' out
He's been teachin' and slavin' his life away
Oh yes I know it

(Yeah!) He's been workin' so hard
(Yeah!) I've been workin' too, baby
(Yeah!) Every night and day
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

I gotta get out of this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
I gotta get out of this place
'cause Kenny, there's a better life for me and you

(Yeah!) I've been poked and prodded, baby
(Yeah!) Every day baby
(Yeah!) Whoa!
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME TOTO, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

**UnderGroundRacing.com** · January 14th, 2007, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KENNY's VIPER

This one is sure to get me home, please sing it with me and as you do, click the heels of your ruby slippers together.................

In this dirty old part of Orlando
Where the mechanics refused to work
People tell me there ain't no use in tryin'

Now I once was so young and pretty
And one thing I know is true
My tires will dry rot before my tune is through, I know

Watch my daddy in Ohio a-cryin'
Watched his hair been fallin' out
He's been teachin' and slavin' his life away
Oh yes I know it

(Yeah!) He's been workin' so hard
(Yeah!) I've been workin' too, baby
(Yeah!) Every night and day
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

I gotta get out of this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
I gotta get out of this place
'cause Kenny, there's a better life for me and you

(Yeah!) I've been poked and prodded, baby
(Yeah!) Every day baby
(Yeah!) Whoa!
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!)

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME TOTO, THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

This shit is kinda funny

GARY J · January 14th, 2007, 01:11 PM

No shit.

**Kenny** · January 14th, 2007, 04:58 PM

This is fucking hysterical. I love it.

If you think Kenny's Viper is pissing and moaning right now though, wait until it gets home and has to endure daily slatherings with canola oil so that 300 lb. turd can wedge his ass in there and lug through around town at idle and throw Ho-Ho wrappers on the floorboards.

KENNY's VIPER · January 14th, 2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny

This is fucking hysterical. I love it.

If you think Kenny's Viper is pissing and moaning right now though, wait until it gets home and has to endure daily slatherings with canola oil so that 300 lb. turd can wedge his ass in there and lug through around town at idle and throw Ho-Ho wrappers on the floorboards.

Kenny my favorite namesake, sing one with me, we will make it a duet...

a onea anda twoa......

Wastin' Away In Tunerhooterville

Nibblin on shop dust
Watchin my rotors rust
All of those garage apes covered with oil
Strummin my line lock
Slappin my limp cock
Smell my owner's blood beginnin to boil

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
But I know............ it's Sir Larry's fault

I wish there was a good reason
I stayed here all season
Nothin to show but this brand new redo
But its a real beauty
A Macedo cutie
When I'll leave here I haven't a clue

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be Simms fault

I blew out my right rear
Slippin' on a shit smear
Cut a left front and had to cruise on back home
Now there's a dent in my fender
And soon it will render
This Goldberg concoction that helps me move on

Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that there's a lawyer to blame
But I know............... its Sir Larry's fault

Yes and Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
But I know its ..............Sir Larry's fault

Now members of Hadassah chorus only

**Kenny** · January 14th, 2007, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KENNY's VIPER

Kenny my favorite namesake, sing one with me, we will make it a duet...

a onea anda twoa......

Wastin' Away In Tunerhooterville

Nibblin on shop dust
Watchin my rotors rust
All of those garage apes covered with oil
Strummin my line lock
Slappin my limp cock
Smell my owner's blood beginnin to boil

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
But I know............ it's Sir Larry's fault

I wish there was a good reason
I stayed here all season
Nothin to show but this brand new redo
But its a real beauty
A Macedo cutie
When I'll leave here I haven't a clue

Chorus:
Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
Now I think
Hell, it could be Simms fault

I blew out my right rear
Slippin' on a shit smear
Cut a left front and had to cruise on back home
Now there's a dent in my fender
And soon it will render
This Goldberg concoction that helps me move on

Wastin' away again in Tunerhooterville
Searching for a way to make this all halt
Some Man claims that there's a lawyer to blame
But I know............... its Sir Larry's fault

Yes and Some Man claims that theres a lawyer to blame
But I know its ..............Sir Larry's fault

Now members of Hadassah chorus only

I love it. Very clever shit.

**UnderGroundRacing.com** · January 15th, 2007, 05:44 PM

Note to self.... " dont piss off Kennys Viper"

KENNY's VIPER · January 15th, 2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnderGroundRacing.com

Note to self.... " dont piss off Kennys Viper"

Well if it ain't Kevin the clodhopping country cousin. Ok, for someone who's lifetime goal was to own a fireworks stand you ain't doing too bad. Although I did hear you have tobacco spit on both sides of your pickup, you git married recently? Git the fuck off my thread unless you can sing.

2MANYTOYS · January 15th, 2007, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KENNY's VIPER

Well if it ain't Kevin the clodhopping country cousin. Ok, for someone who's lifetime goal was to own a fireworks stand you ain't doing too bad. Although I did hear you have tobacco spit on both sides of your pickup, you git married recently? Git the fuck off my thread unless you can sing.

Those songs are some funny shit. But why the attitude toward Kevin?

KENNY's VIPER · January 16th, 2007, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2MANYTOYS

Those songs are some funny shit. But why the attitude toward Kevin?

No attitude Toby, I was just trying to intimidate Kevin into donating a mercy TT so I could shed my Wal-Mart blower and make the Rose parade next year.

SUN RA KAT · January 17th, 2007, 11:19 AM

This is all so silly

Until it happens to you

Then your yellow Viper turns blue

I chose the best tuner in the land

He told me my Viper would run grand

But now it only runs grand when it's parked

It's hard to go in a parade when it's parked

It's hard to even go down a dragstrip

It's hard

It ain't easy being blue.

KENNY's VIPER · January 17th, 2007, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SUN RA KAT

This is all so silly

Until it happens to you

Then your yellow Viper turns blue

I chose the best tuner in the land

He told me my Viper would run grand

But now it only runs grand when it's parked

It's hard to go in a parade when it's parked

It's hard to even go down a dragstrip

It's hard

It ain't easy being blue.

Kenny, is there any chance you can strap on a suicide vest when you go pick up your car and take both you and Macedo out at the same time?

tucker · January 17th, 2007, 10:59 PM

This is some of the best shit I have ever read. My stomach hurts. Reps coming Kenny's Viper