Jeff - I can't imagine what you're going through. My deepest condolences for you and your family and my highest respect for the strength you've exhibited goes out to you.
Take Care,
Clint Sever
Jeff: its time to celebrate that wonderful woman's life...please share some more stories with us about your loving wife. i believe nathan said it best. your post has inspired me to be a better husband....much like PMUM's death inspired me to spend more time with my parents and my kids.
i, for one, would love to hear more stories about her...so long as it is not a burden on you.
Thanks Lawboy,
I don't mind telling some more. Telling them does make me sad but proud of her. I only wish I had half of her fortitude. She was a very strong woman.
She didn't care about her remains. A dumpster would have been great as far as she cared. No funeral by her strict decree. She didn't want a memorial service either but I talked her into letting me have a little get together "for us not her" so she acquiesced.
I called 5 or 6 friends from various groups we were friends with, with only a day and a half notice, and asked them to spread the word about the little get together. I said "No plans just bring a dish." I was too torn up to plan anything so I just mowed the grass on her ZTR to get the place ready.
You wouldn't believe how it went. At least 85 people came. Family members, work friends, horse friends, old family friends, farm friends, our local Chillies restaurant friends and other misc. friends all came. My house filled up with food enough to load 2 refrigerators plus over all the counters and that was the uneaten stuff after the party.
One of the last things she did before she died was have 2 tons of black & white speckled rocks delivered as a last humongous honey-do for me. They were to be placed in the flowerbeds. Someone asked what all the rocks were, and after I told him, he said "Well let's get going!". Many of the guests pitched in and 2.5 hrs it was a done deal.
A few weeks ago some of her horse friends got me to give them all of our family photos so they could make a video for her and me to have. She was gone before she could see it but it was completed in time for the party. They went through thousands of photos (I've always taken lots of pics) and set them to some of her favorite songs. That 30 minute video was the most touching thing I've ever seen and you could tell they loved her very much. Everyone saw it at the party with no dry eyes.
If having good friends is a measure of wealth, she was one of the richest people on earth.
Jeff: its time to celebrate that wonderful woman's life...please share some more stories with us about your loving wife. i believe nathan said it best. your post has inspired me to be a better husband....much like PMUM's death inspired me to spend more time with my parents and my kids.
i, for one, would love to hear more stories about her...so long as it is not a burden on you.
Thanks Lawboy,
I don't mind telling some more. Telling them does make me sad but proud of her. I only wish I had half of her fortitude. She was a very strong woman.
She didn't care about her remains. A dumpster would have been great as far as she cared. No funeral by her strict decree. She didn't want a memorial service either but I talked her into letting me have a little get together "for us not her" so she acquiesced.
I called 5 or 6 friends from various groups we were friends with, with only a day and a half notice, and asked them to spread the word about the little get together. I said "No plans just bring a dish." I was too torn up to plan anything so I just mowed the grass on her ZTR to get the place ready.
You wouldn't believe how it went. At least 85 people came. Family members, work friends, horse friends, old family friends, farm friends, our local Chillies restaurant friends and other misc. friends all came. My house filled up with food enough to load 2 refrigerators plus over all the counters and that was the uneaten stuff after the party.
One of the last things she did before she died was have 2 tons of black & white speckled rocks delivered as a last humongous honey-do for me. They were to be placed in the flowerbeds. Someone asked what all the rocks were, and after I told him, he said "Well let's get going!". Many of the guests pitched in and 2.5 hrs it was a done deal.
A few weeks ago some of her horse friends got me to give them all of our family photos so they could make a video for her and me to have. She was gone before she could see it but it was completed in time for the party. They went through thousands of photos (I've always taken lots of pics) and set them to some of her favorite songs. That 30 minute video was the most touching thing I've ever seen and you could tell they loved her very much. Everyone saw it at the party with no dry eyes.
If having good friends is a measure of wealth, she was one of the richest people on earth.
Jeff...I just saw this thread...and don't really know what to say other than you know our prayers are with you....and if there is anything I can do...just pm me...
Jeff.. I'm so very sorry. Your posts strike close to the heart for many of us. I am glad that your life was blessed in such a way by your wife. My deepest sympathies for you and your family. What a truly unique person you have described. Add me to the list of people if there is anything I can assist you with.
-Bruce
Jeff,
The way that you talk about her shows how truly deep and meaningful your relationship with your wife was. What you both had was something very unique. I believe it wrenches at all us because we can all relate to finding that true life-long friend that when you say "till death do we part" you mean it with all your heart. Although its hard, be glad to know that both of you were blessed to find something so special. Again, God Bless.
Jeff,
What a wonderful story and what a wonderful tribute to her life. Her friends, your friends, all the people she touched coming together to celebrate her soul.
Just by reading your last post, I can feel what a special person she was - what a strong and loving wife and friend. Her sense of purpose and the centering of her being made those around her better. The load of rocks is a wonderful thing - and to have your friends help you - how symbolic of how they will continue to help you remember and honor her.
You were lucky to have each other. All of us can wish for a life of love like you two shared. She will be with you always - and you with her. Take comfort in the life you had together that most can only dream about.
I'm trying to choke back tears here at the client.
Jeff, you are one amazing man. I want you to know how deeply saddened I am. My prayers are with you, your family and friends. If you ever need a shoulder to help with anything, I'm right here buddy.
Jeff,
The way that you talk about her shows how truly deep and meaningful your relationship with your wife was. What you both had was something very unique. I believe it wrenches at all us because we can all relate to finding that true life-long friend that when you say "till death do we part" you mean it with all your heart. Although its hard, be glad to know that both of you were blessed to find something so special. Again, God Bless.
Thanks smoke,
[hijack] See everybody smoke's ok, he said something nice to someone. [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img][/hijack]
It's true about the life long thing. I wasn't a cheater either.
It's funny, never in my life have I lived by myself. It went from my folks, to her apartment, then our apartment and onwards. I had plenty of girlfriends before her but she sure stuck. We met as seniors in high school.
I was always the creative wild one and she was my rock. She helped me get through collage and then supported us while I developed my career and then kept a high pressure corporate job while I worked to build our security business. This all went on for over our first 9 years.
Then it was payback time. She was able to quit that job and work with me in the business. Then she was able to get back into the horse world that she had left behind to be with me. She became a world class equestrian. (many of her competitors came the the party out of respect). She won #1 in the world a few years back. About 5 years ago she did the national show circuit and traveled with her horse and trailer all by herself from coast to coast and won overall highpoint. She didn't even go to the big winners swaree in Calif. after winning. She didn't care about acting like "I'm so great" at an awards event. It was the challange that she cared about. For her 9 year investment in me, she lived the horse-life for her last 16 years. We even built together a wonderful horse boarding facility which is the farm I talk about and now where I live without her.
Jeff, I sent you Pm, but the last post has driven me to type. Here i sit, trying to understand and feel your pain. Some of use will never know the joy you and your wife had with each other. You are a truly fortunate man. You found your soul mate. She is now living in you. In your memories. Keep them close and cherish them.
We will all meet our loved ones again, for they shall be waiting.
Our times here can be short or long, we don't make the choice when to go, that was already decided. In your wife's case, both you and she endured a lot of pain. We don't know why it was deemed a need to suffer, but pain shows us just what being human is. It is only by caring for others in pain that we truly know what humanity, love, caring, marriage is.
May you find comfort know that there are friends and 'family' here that care about you and what you are doing.
There will be days that you will wake and see your wife riding her horse again. Nothing will stop them as they ride in the morning mists over the fields.
"It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you,
It's what you leave behind you when you go."
Jeff, your stories have brought me to tears, but they are smiley tears. You and your wife are such an inspiration to us all. God Bless you and your family, you are in all of our prayers.
Jeff: its time to celebrate that wonderful woman's life...please share some more stories with us about your loving wife. i believe nathan said it best. your post has inspired me to be a better husband....much like PMUM's death inspired me to spend more time with my parents and my kids.
i, for one, would love to hear more stories about her...so long as it is not a burden on you.
Thanks Lawboy,
I don't mind telling some more. Telling them does make me sad but proud of her. I only wish I had half of her fortitude. She was a very strong woman.
She didn't care about her remains. A dumpster would have been great as far as she cared. No funeral by her strict decree. She didn't want a memorial service either but I talked her into letting me have a little get together "for us not her" so she acquiesced.
I called 5 or 6 friends from various groups we were friends with, with only a day and a half notice, and asked them to spread the word about the little get together. I said "No plans just bring a dish." I was too torn up to plan anything so I just mowed the grass on her ZTR to get the place ready.
You wouldn't believe how it went. At least 85 people came. Family members, work friends, horse friends, old family friends, farm friends, our local Chillies restaurant friends and other misc. friends all came. My house filled up with food enough to load 2 refrigerators plus over all the counters and that was the uneaten stuff after the party.
One of the last things she did before she died was have 2 tons of black & white speckled rocks delivered as a last humongous honey-do for me. They were to be placed in the flowerbeds. Someone asked what all the rocks were, and after I told him, he said "Well let's get going!". Many of the guests pitched in and 2.5 hrs it was a done deal.
A few weeks ago some of her horse friends got me to give them all of our family photos so they could make a video for her and me to have. She was gone before she could see it but it was completed in time for the party. They went through thousands of photos (I've always taken lots of pics) and set them to some of her favorite songs. That 30 minute video was the most touching thing I've ever seen and you could tell they loved her very much. Everyone saw it at the party with no dry eyes.
If having good friends is a measure of wealth, she was one of the richest people on earth.
