The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, " In Mexico our glasses so cheap we don't need to drink from the
same glass twice".
The Iraqi [obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his
glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we
don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either.
The American, (a Texan), cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer
and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots
the Mexican and the Iraqi and catches his glass.
He says,
"In America we have so many Mexicans and Iraqis that we don't
have to drink with the same ones twice.
Yah, I'm a fucking dork. Here, kick me in the ass [img]/images/graemlins/bootyshake.gif[/img]
O.K....... ............ :thumb:
It was better the second time. Alright fucktards, here is another one.
A man is at a bar, having some drinks. After a couple hours he's pretty drunk and starts to feel like he's going to be sick. He rushes into the bathroom but doesn't quite make it to a sink in time and pukes all over his shirt.
As he's slouched against the wall trying to clean his shirt off with wet paper towels, another man comes in the bathroom.
The drunk says to the other in a slurred voice, "Maaan my (hiccup) wife issh gonna (hiccup) kill me!"
The other man says to the drunk, "Listen, what you need to do is put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket. When you get home tell your wife that some drunk guy puked on you and gave you the twenty to pay for the cleaning bill."
The drunk says, "Shay! Thas a great idea! Thans misser!"
The drunk finishes wiping the puke off his shirt and puts a twenty in his breast pocket. Feeling relieved about the situation and also feeling a little better, the man leaves the bathroom and has a couple more drinks.
Later that night the drunk staggers in the door to find his wife waiting up for him. As soon as she sees him she starts yelling at him, "Look at you! You're a mess, you lousy drunk! How many times have I told you not to go out and get drunk like this? Who is going to clean that shirt?"
"Look hon, you got it all wrong. Thish guy at the bar, he pukes all over me and he givesh me twenty bucks to pay the cleaning bill," the drunk says to her while pointing at his breast pocket.
"Oh really?" she says, "Then what is that OTHER twenty for?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah, uh, thas from the guy that shit in my pants!"
too long to read. how bout a simple knock-knock joke. [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img]
Knock knock
Whos there?
Wanna.
Wanna who?
Wanna hear a joke?
Sure... so a man is at a bar, having some drinks. After a couple hours he's pretty drunk and starts to feel like he's going to be sick. He rushes into the bathroom but doesn't quite make it to a sink in time and pukes all over his shirt.
As he's slouched against the wall trying to clean his shirt off with wet paper towels, another man comes in the bathroom.
The drunk says to the other in a slurred voice, "Maaan my (hiccup) wife issh gonna (hiccup) kill me!"
The other man says to the drunk, "Listen, what you need to do is put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket. When you get home tell your wife that some drunk guy puked on you and gave you the twenty to pay for the cleaning bill."
The drunk says, "Shay! Thas a great idea! Thans misser!"
The drunk finishes wiping the puke off his shirt and puts a twenty in his breast pocket. Feeling relieved about the situation and also feeling a little better, the man leaves the bathroom and has a couple more drinks.
Later that night the drunk staggers in the door to find his wife waiting up for him. As soon as she sees him she starts yelling at him, "Look at you! You're a mess, you lousy drunk! How many times have I told you not to go out and get drunk like this? Who is going to clean that shirt?"
"Look hon, you got it all wrong. Thish guy at the bar, he pukes all over me and he givesh me twenty bucks to pay the cleaning bill," the drunk says to her while pointing at his breast pocket.
"Oh really?" she says, "Then what is that OTHER twenty for?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah, uh, thas from the guy that shit in my pants!"
Sure... so a man is at a bar, having some drinks. After a couple hours he's pretty drunk and starts to feel like he's going to be sick. He rushes into the bathroom but doesn't quite make it to a sink in time and pukes all over his shirt.
As he's slouched against the wall trying to clean his shirt off with wet paper towels, another man comes in the bathroom.
The drunk says to the other in a slurred voice, "Maaan my (hiccup) wife issh gonna (hiccup) kill me!"
The other man says to the drunk, "Listen, what you need to do is put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket. When you get home tell your wife that some drunk guy puked on you and gave you the twenty to pay for the cleaning bill."
The drunk says, "Shay! Thas a great idea! Thans misser!"
The drunk finishes wiping the puke off his shirt and puts a twenty in his breast pocket. Feeling relieved about the situation and also feeling a little better, the man leaves the bathroom and has a couple more drinks.
Later that night the drunk staggers in the door to find his wife waiting up for him. As soon as she sees him she starts yelling at him, "Look at you! You're a mess, you lousy drunk! How many times have I told you not to go out and get drunk like this? Who is going to clean that shirt?"
"Look hon, you got it all wrong. Thish guy at the bar, he pukes all over me and he givesh me twenty bucks to pay the cleaning bill," the drunk says to her while pointing at his breast pocket.
"Oh really?" she says, "Then what is that OTHER twenty for?"
"Hmm? Oh yeah, uh, thas from the guy that shit in my pants!"
Linear Mode
