Last night, I was tossed back and forth between pissed and hurt. She is the kind of girl thats needs a deep emotional connection as opposed to the shallow, superficial, normal stripper relationship. She and I have been seeing each other for a few months now and went through quite a bit of dating, sleeping with others and through the process of time gradually migrated toward each other just because we enjoyed each other the most. Through that process you learn a persons habits, what's going on when they call, when they don't call, even the time they call factor's in to what she is feeling. Basically, I've learned her modus operandi.
The reason I feel she was with another guy, and again there was never a verbal commitment, are as follows.
She went to Miami to visit friends, but the course conversation continued to revolve around this friend who happened to fly in from London. Also, she stayed in a Penthouse, was going to be there for 10 days, but came home after a weekend.
The gifts also tipped me off, it was the feeling it gave off as she was giving them to me, like I was being bought....
She also has a freind who for lack of a better term does "high dollar dates" so it's not completely out of the question.
When we got back to her apartment last night, before we could jump into bed she was adament about taking a shower, and I must admit for the player I think I am...this one got past me. Later on in the evening, as her ass laid across my chest while she reached for a glass of water, I did what anyone in my positon would do, I dropped ole sniff test on her taking opportunity to discretly inhale to see if I could detect any recent activity, which IMO after a shower should have come back with a rose' report. It didn't, not saying she was a skank, because she is far from that. But I knew, and I think most know what it's like after a weekend of fun. Then I remembered her adamently wanting to take a shower and in a flash it all linked together......and did I mention she had quite a bit of cash in her purse.
The thing is I really don't care what she does, after-all she isn't the only girl I see, just don't come back and bring up Love. After-all everbody loves love. I've always been very open and accepting because I don't really provide a reason to keep things from me, hell it's so entertaing. But if you can't trust someone, then it is irritating. Even this I can handle, but when you come back and tell me "I Love You", then I have to wonder what the hell is going on. She said she wants to see me every night, and later on kids came up ...... what's happening to me? It was also a wake up call because I realized I liked her alot, and I had let her to close.....and that's why my feelings were getting hammered and I'm probably pissed at myself more than her. Also, no matter what anyone tells you, tequila dosen't help resolve anything.
shower? shiiiiiiiit dude. if you love her, get out now cause its about to get ugly. i have dated a number of dancers...only fallen for one. sometimes she is the best thing that ever happened to me, sometimes she is the worst. but we cant stay away from each other. but the one thing that we have always had is trust. i have never cheated on her and she hasnt ever been untruthful to me. if trust isnt there, there is no sense in even bothering with it. my advice is to walk away now. you can find another one any day of the week and two on saturday.
It just seems the trip to Miami was more of a business trip than vacation. I know she has friends down there she saw, but my suspicion is she was there for a primary reason, and took opportunity to see her friends as well.
Holy crap dude, a stripper doesn't even deserve all of this anguish. Strippers are like the crosstown bus, another one will be along in 5 minutes (although fewer people probably ride the bus).
Not making light of your feelings - but you gotta step back. Strippers can't even be honest with themselves, let alone another human being. Game-Set-Match.
Now go start "dating" one of her friends immediately.
All these things are true.....Can someone tell me why she decided to start spitting out "I Love Yous", it seems to me that would work against her more than me. I mean, it seems like that's the last thing she would want as well.
I basically keep my stable seprate from each other, I don't sleep with her friends. I can and do sleep with other girls, they just aren't as good as her. But, I need to send a message.
Dude, date a "normal" chic. Im sure there are "normal" (non strippers)girls out there that will give you WAY better sex then she can (if sex is mostly whats keeping you?). I would NEVER date a stripper. Oh, Im sure there would be some "fun" things you could do dating a stripper, but in the end, it would just be a BIG game (on her part). And any stripper that says she doesnt have sex for money is telling you a BIG ASS LIE!! Some of my friends took me to my first (and only) strip club when I turned 18. One of the strippers went up to one of my friends and told him that she would give him the "BEST" blow job he had ever had, for a "small" price that is. WTF?!! He declined, which is good because he probably would have gotten some STD.
All these things are true.....Can someone tell me why she decided to start spitting out "I Love Yous", it seems to me that would work against her more than me. I mean, it seems like that's the last thing she would want as well.
I basically keep my stable seprate from each other, I don't sleep with her friends. I can and do sleep with other girls, they just aren't as good as her. But, I need to send a message.
You got a 50/50 shot here. Either she got there, realized she "loves you," backed out and came home or she went there, took care of business and is using the "love you" stuff to cover up her guilt. Tough call.
Either way, since your not sleeping with her friends, keep her around long enough to hook your H-town brothers up! I'm just looking out for you - of course.
You got a 50/50 shot here. Either she got there, realized she "loves you," backed out and came home or she went there, took care of business and is using the "love you" stuff to cover up her guilt. Tough call.
Either way, since your not sleeping with her friends, keep her around long enough to hook your H-town brothers up! I'm just looking out for you - of course.
Thanks Anthony, that's exactly the way I see it. Smokin said you guys were in Red Star Sat. night, it was my friends birthday there that night. We are all going to hook up when he gets back from California....a night out is in the works.
All these things are true.....Can someone tell me why she decided to start spitting out "I Love Yous", it seems to me that would work against her more than me. I mean, it seems like that's the last thing she would want as well.
its a CYA move. my guess is she likes you and wants to keep you around...but felt guilty about the trip..so she overcompensates. whether you walk away or stay, at least you have your eyes wide open to whats afoot.
dancers always try to keep one or two guys waiting in the wings...it assures them a steady cash flow, somewhere to stay and meals. plus they cant stand to be lonely. they hate being alone. they are used to guys showering them with compliments each and every day. they almost crave the attention more than the money....almost!
austin: dont be so naive. not every dancer is a skank. not every dancer sleeps with guys for money. there are some out there that do their job and go home. those arent the ones i like...but they're out there!
thanks man, im trying to help you out as best as i can. you have to come to terms with the nature of this beast. the dancer lifestyle is destructive...not because of drugs or alcohol or even money...its the pedestal these girls are put upon every day of the week...by guys who make well over 6 figures...because of this, they know that they dont need you...that they can have 40 or more other guys by making 40 phone calls. its this sort of diva atmosphere that does more to making it almost impossible to date a dancer than any of the other stuff.
as i said above, they crave the attention. they cant do without it. they start getting insecure. and they always keep one or two waiting in the wings.
i have dated a number of dancers....and they all drive mustangs, trans ams or camaro SSs, listen to mid to late 80s rock (especially Bon Jovi and Journey), their Dads abused them, deep down they are insecure and every last one of them is one to two months late on their car payment and rent! oh and a lot of them have more than one baby with more than one daddy!!! tis the nature of the beast. lol!
but i found one former dancer who i fell in love with. and even though we break up once a month over stupid shit...i do love her. the problems we have are more about her insecurities and our competing needs to dominate...lol! but the one thing you gotta have is trust. i know that sounds stupid but you gotta have it.
so if you think its worth your time, then lay it out there for her. discuss all this with her openly. ask her what happened in miami and why she is acting so strange. find the limits of everything and get it all out in the open
