|
I'm so fucking glad to be home...
The wife and I drove down to Zephyerhills, Fl this past Monday to see her parents for turkey day. I did 80 all the way down, with no trouble and not much traffic.
All I did was drink, eat, and sleep for 5 days, watching football, Discovery channel, and squinting at the Alley through my HTC touch. The drive back, however, was a swarm of idiots in plague proportions. Heavy rains were taking care of the more retarded people driving (saw some hellish wrecks) but after driving all day and only making it halfway we decided to get a room as I had no stomach to continue driving.
About two in the morning, I heard 5 shots fired rapidly in the parking lot along with a car peeling out and I just groaned, imagining our car shot full of holes. The wife's snoring didn't miss a beat so I was pretty sure she wasn't hit. I waited until the police arrived then went for a short walk out to the car. No holes. Good. As I head back up to the room, I hear "That's him, right there, Offucer! Him." What the fuck. I walk back down the stairs in my socks, t-shirt and flannel pants. With the most pissed off look I could muster (it wasn't hard, believe me) I said to the officer, "I don't know who the fuck she's talking about, but I was woken up by this mess and I wanted to make sure my car didn't get shot." With that, I hit the lock button, which flashed the lights and horn for emphasis of my point. After showing the officer my room key he dismissed me. I flipped the bitch off and got back in the room to my still sleeping wife.
I've never been happier to see my home.
So how did your holiday go?
__________________
UGR Solvent Doucher.
|
Linear Mode
