...I wrestled around with weather I should post this up or not, it is a very personal thing. But if someone can learn something from this it is worth it. As most of you know I have been clean and sober for 5+ years. My girlfriend/wife of 12+ years not so much.
She had an accident 6 months ago that was both painful and stressful. 3 months ago her mother died and she took it hard. She drank hard, I am not one to preach and I was hoping it was to overcome grief. Unfortunately it continued despite my objections.
5 weeks ago I started to see the toll in her and took her to my doctor, he told her flat out quit or die, the same words I heard 5+ years ago but I chose the former. She chose the latter, she is now in the hospital a bright shade of banana yellow, Hep C and Cirosis attacked her and her prognosis is unknown.
I do not want sympathy for neither her or myself, no "hang in theres", no "It'll work out", it is what it is. A choice was made and it was a bad one. I just want you all to know no matter how bad things are the answer is not in the bottom of a bottle.
I've never "preached" about alcoholism, nobody "wants" to hear it, maybe I should of more in Silvia's case. All of you who think you have a problem, you just may.......
......nuff said.
__________________
Coin-er of "Soup"
Betamax will make a comeback!
Why would you want to live with a monkey on your back? Ron you have alot of will power and I hope/ pray you can and or the docs can talk some sense into her before it is too late. Life is full of choices and the right ones are not always the easiest!
Don't know what to say really....alcohol is a strong depressant which, in turn, leads to more alcohol... it cost me my brother and my father. Good on you for posting...hope she pulls through ok, she's got a good friend, whoops, friends..sorry Cutter, to help her.
I know how you feel Ron. Hence some of the PM's awhile back. I could not keep my EX Brazilian girlfriend off the drugs. Like hanging on to a greased rope..No matter what I did. We lived together. She flipped her Porsche in the InterCoastal in Boca and drowned. She was high as a kite on X... It's one of the hardest things I ever went through. I loved her to no end. It's hard for me to even remember it and type abt. it.....I failed.
What is important is the fact that YOU ARE MAKING THE EFFORT TO HELP! Your strong, she's weak. Hopefully, she will pull through. I think so.
Thanks for posting on this subj.
__________________
when the green light pops the bullshit stops!
We all have our demons Ron, some people just control them...no, what I mean is, some people simply can hide them better. For once, I don't envy you and the choices you now face. In some small way, I hope this helps.
Well written Ron! Even if things don't work out for you both....quite possibly you will have made an impression on someone's else's problem by setting the example. It takes a bigger man to do that!
It's the road my mother went down. And it claimed her life. When it comes to alcohol, it's a pride/dignity thing. No one wants to admit they have a problem. People feel admitting to problems makes them weak. Who wants that?
On my side, I got a late start in the drinking game. (age 22) I'd get trashed on 2 beers once a week (ultra light weight) at the club. I really had no desire to drink outside of a social environment.. Then my best friend kept feeding me beers when I went over to his house. Again, social environment, right?
Things happen and we wound up working together with him as my "boss". Every day, at quitting time, out came the beers. Pretty soon a few would get popped at lunch, as well. Nothing bad ever came of this but it corrupted my work ethic.
As my work efforts slumped, as the wife began to nag, as the bills piled up it became easier and easier to kill first a six pack, than a 12 pack. When I was going through a case in the weekends, not stupid drunk, but steadily buzzed I got that vague feeling. Like when a cat hooks your eyelid with it's claw. "Maybe I do have a problem."
When I took a hard look at myself, I was on antidepression medication and drinking, I saw the irony. Fortunately, it's never been a crave for me. It's just been a light want. I don't HAVE to have a drink. Periodically I'd get sick of/bored with beer and go a week or two without drinking, so the addiction is light, at worst.
Ron, I feel for you. It's not easy being in your shoes. Just remember, it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself for whatever happens. Just be the one she wants to live for, and encourage her to fight for her life.
__________________
"If it ain't broke, break it and make it better"
Alcoholism has ruined many lives. I lost my father to alcoholism four years ago. He had everything in life but sadly, gave it all up for another drink. I made my peace with him a few months before he died. The saddest part is that he'll never see his grandchildren grow up. That is why being a father to my boys is such a great honor for me.
Ron, I admire you for sticking with her. I know it's both a physical and emotional drain but you will not regret it.
You're a good guy Ron. You set an example for others by the actions you make. Hopefully whatever fate lies ahead it will be as painless as possible to accept. God bess.
The sad fact that people need to understand is sometimes their is nothing you can do to stop them. Just do everything you can, if its not enough try to find comfort in knowing you were the best friend you could be. Just love her as you have and hope she makes the right decision.
You're both in my prayers. Thank you for sharing this though, as it may help someone else make a decision that could save their life or someone else's. My uncle died of the exact same thing, its sad to see anyone go through it.
