Willie, I need a gameplan. I have a '97 VW Golf with 140k miles and a bad transmission. I'm surrounded by Asians who drive like Stevie Wonder and I have a stomach ulcer from shitty California traffic that makes me snappish and prone to fits of rage at the motherfucking gook drivers!!!! See? It happened again right there. Could I be impaired?
I lay these puzzle pieces at your feet. Can you work your magic on a V-dub fireball, a spilled bottle of Malox in my lap, a dead Chinese neighbor and then Bob Ross me a beautiful painting of a brand new BMW M3 in my driveway?
SE, I got through the V-dub fireball, threw in a glove that doesn't fit, spilled Malox (WW's fault) and the dead neighbor part of the game plan when I realized I had an ethical issue. I had to weigh this as "internet humor" ha ha ha, VS. was this a potential "Real World" act?
As an officer of the court, I have a duty to report any criminal acts by a client. Now as didn't you pay a retainer and nor would this be pro-bono (we are talking about a dead Chinese neighbor here in this scenario) you are not really a client. That said, I am still an officer of the court and see some potential legal problems here. We're looking at arson, fraud, murder, hate crimes, conspiracy charges at the bare minimum which could be brought based on your request.
Now, if this is real world then I would have to call the cops. But this is the internet, so where do we draw the line?
My conscious was bothering me so I called the state bar ethics hot line to seek clarification on my issues. Told them the situation, and they advised anyone living and driving in California should be allowed the defense of killing anybody, especially bad Asian drivers. We do have a law on the books here in Tejas about bad Asian drivers, but you can only use the brush guard on your truck to make contact with their cars.
The man with the state bar ethical division mumbled something about why a real Texan would want a yuppity BMW and he also advised Mylanta is better.
He told me I really need to get a hold of the California people as this "set of events" is taking place in California and jurisdiction would be there ultimately.
I put a call through to the California state bar ethics committee to get further clarification on my ethical dilemma. Once I hear back from them today I will let you know what we can do to get you your shiny new BMW M3. The fact that you live in California is a defense, so I'm feeling pretty good right now about this.
They list Nick Hogan as a "professional 'drift' driver." LMAO. Ya, and I'm a professional marathon runner.
Check out Nick destroying 2 vipers on youtube. Search Hogan and Drift. He crashes 2 vipers (one twice in the same spot). All 3 crashes look like easy saves to me, all he had to do is unlock the brakes and he would have been fine... He truly, truly cannot drive.
Check out Nick destroying 2 vipers on youtube. Search Hogan and Drift. He crashes 2 vipers (one twice in the same spot). All 3 crashes look like easy saves to me, all he had to do is unlock the brakes and he would have been fine... He truly, truly cannot drive.
-Dave.
I haven't seen the vids in a while but as I recall they were SRT Vipers weren't they?
Check out Nick destroying 2 vipers on youtube. Search Hogan and Drift. He crashes 2 vipers (one twice in the same spot). All 3 crashes look like easy saves to me, all he had to do is unlock the brakes and he would have been fine... He truly, truly cannot drive.
-Dave.
I have seen that before. There is another video of him on YouTube where the crow is cheering when he wrecks his car.
I have seen that before. There is another video of him on YouTube where the crow is cheering when he wrecks his car.
Those Crows are some mean ass birds, they fucked up Poe enough to write the Raven, Brandon Lee got killed as a result of a Crow and then they cheered hogan jr when he crashed. I never have liked crows, nasty birds.
SE, I got through the V-dub fireball, threw in a glove that doesn't fit, spilled Malox (WW's fault) and the dead neighbor part of the game plan when I realized I had an ethical issue. I had to weigh this as "internet humor" ha ha ha, VS. was this a potential "Real World" act?
As an officer of the court, I have a duty to report any criminal acts by a client. Now as didn't you pay a retainer and nor would this be pro-bono (we are talking about a dead Chinese neighbor here in this scenario) you are not really a client. That said, I am still an officer of the court and see some potential legal problems here. We're looking at arson, fraud, murder, hate crimes, conspiracy charges at the bare minimum which could be brought based on your request.
Now, if this is real world then I would have to call the cops. But this is the internet, so where do we draw the line?
My conscious was bothering me so I called the state bar ethics hot line to seek clarification on my issues. Told them the situation, and they advised anyone living and driving in California should be allowed the defense of killing anybody, especially bad Asian drivers. We do have a law on the books here in Tejas about bad Asian drivers, but you can only use the brush guard on your truck to make contact with their cars.
The man with the state bar ethical division mumbled something about why a real Texan would want a yuppity BMW and he also advised Mylanta is better.
He told me I really need to get a hold of the California people as this "set of events" is taking place in California and jurisdiction would be there ultimately.
I put a call through to the California state bar ethics committee to get further clarification on my ethical dilemma. Once I hear back from them today I will let you know what we can do to get you your shiny new BMW M3. The fact that you live in California is a defense, so I'm feeling pretty good right now about this.
I'm glad the California defense holds for killing Asian drivers. You seemed to have concerns there for a moment about me having confessed some sort of "illegal acts". Needless to say I was a bit shocked and even hurt by your harsh legal interpretation of my picture. I was about to reply in grumpy tones that it's not a hate crime. Not at all. Hadn't I shown you that my rage is a manifestation of my impairment? ... You might even say a traumatic response to a longterm and pervasive condition of threat and abuse that I face day after day. I wouldn't go so far as to compare my commute to work with a Humvee patrol in Ramadi but I would ask you to consider the constant and grinding sense of fear, stress and outrage that I am subjected to for several hours on a daily basis. Have some compassion for the occasional pre-emptive swerve into the front quarter panel of a blundering Toyota mini-van. It really is me or them. Just look at the white crust of Malox around my lips and the veins standing out like boiled sausages in my neck and I think you can feel my pain.
As for our professional attorney/client status I can assure you there is no issue. As of the moment that I shipped you two frozen crabs and a wooden Chinese popgun you were fully on retainer. Aren't those little popguns fun? And do look inside the barrel for an ...errr... organic gratuity before becoming so excited that you go blasting the little thing off in your partners meeting.
So are we on track for the M3? It's sounding to me like it's only a matter of time. I hope it has a nice big cupholder for the Mylanta bottle. See? I do listen to my attorney's advice.
I'm glad the California defense holds for killing Asian drivers. You seemed to have concerns there for a moment about me having confessed some sort of "illegal acts". Needless to say I was a bit shocked and even hurt by your harsh legal interpretation of my picture. I was about to reply in grumpy tones that it's not a hate crime. Not at all. Hadn't I shown you that my rage is a manifestation of my impairment? ... You might even say a traumatic response to a longterm and pervasive condition of threat and abuse that I face day after day. I wouldn't go so far as to compare my commute to work with a Humvee patrol in Ramadi but I would ask you to consider the constant and grinding sense of fear, stress and outrage that I am subjected to for several hours on a daily basis. Have some compassion for the occasional pre-emptive swerve into the front quarter panel of a blundering Toyota mini-van. It really is me or them. Just look at the white crust of Malox around my lips and the veins standing out like boiled sausages in my neck and I think you can feel my pain. Harsh interpretations are what I deal in daily, as stated we have a defense, I just have to be aware of all potential issues and advise you appropriately. Not really worried about the Asian driver issue at all, we just have to have our story straight about everything else.
As for our professional attorney/client status I can assure you there is no issue. As of the moment that I shipped you two frozen crabs and a wooden Chinese popgun you were fully on retainer. Aren't those little popguns fun? And do look inside the barrel for an ...errr... organic gratuity before becoming so excited that you go blasting the little thing off in your partners meeting. I thought this was because we were BFF?
So are we on track for the M3? It's sounding to me like it's only a matter of time. I hope it has a nice big cupholder for the Mylanta bottle. See? I do listen to my attorney's advice.
Wow. We're already to picking out colors. You rock, SW. I should have cut the fuel line on the V-dub and blacked out prior to running over Wu years ago! Did I say that? I don't remember doing so.
Since I can assume the Volkswagen corporation and the state of California will be paying your deservedly hefty fee then we can consider the crabs and sundries to be a gesture of friendship. BFF, bro. Hell I'm throwing in a couple loaves of sourdough and a piece of scalp wrenched from a hippie protestor's head outside the Berkeley marine corps recruiting station. A Texan's gotta love that.
Those Crows are some mean ass birds, they fucked up Poe enough to write the Raven, Brandon Lee got killed as a result of a Crow and then they cheered hogan jr when he crashed. I never have liked crows, nasty birds.
