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How To Handle Irritating Airplane Seat Mates
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How To Handle Irritating Airplane Seat Mates
#1
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Joelcool is offline
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How To Handle Irritating Airplane Seat Mates
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky.
6. Then click this link
http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf
#2
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I've always used the old standby. Drop a bag of peanuts at their feet and when they bend down to pick it up, jam a plastic fork in their kidney.
#3
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v10kingsnake is offline
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In the words of my dear pal Krazy, "I don't fly commercial."
#4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
No Man
I've always used the old standby. Drop a bag of peanuts at their feet and when they bend down to pick it up, jam a plastic fork in their kidney.
Jim, you haven't flown in a while have you. Plastic forks are confiscated by the ever so vigilant TSA and no airlines I am aware of give out peanuts anymore. Allergic pussies.
#5
Who's in my fuckin chair?
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Southwest gives out peanuts.
#6
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v10kingsnake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Snorman
Southwest gives out peanuts.
Jesus H. Christ Sean, those aren't peanuts man!
#7
Who's in my fuckin chair?
Snorman is offline
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Sure they are...honey roasted and dry roasted.
#8
Road Racer
SoCal Rebell is offline
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I try to fart a lot
#9
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v10kingsnake is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
SoCal Rebell
I try to fart a lot
Liar, old men don't need to break wind to stink.
#10
Biodiesel Rocks
SNIFFER BEAVER is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
v10kingsnake
Liar, old men don't need to break wind to stink.
Old men don't try to fart either. Trying to fart = Shart.
#11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
SNIFFER BEAVER
Old men don't try to fart either. Trying to fart = Shart.
well I guess that would work too - may even get you two seats as who wants to spend a flight sitting next to crappy pants!
Need to be fairly socially unaware to pull that one off, think I'll settle more for the Chuck Norris "stare at em until they explode" gambit
#12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Torquemonster
well I guess that would work too - may even get you two seats as who wants to spend a flight sitting next to crappy pants!
The best is dropping silent bombs on a plane and when the smell hits you to look over to the guy next to you and give them the "dirtbag" look.
#13
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Sitting next to a crying infant for 9 hours is bad.
#14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
bushido
Sitting next to a crying infant for 9 hours is bad.
That's what the pillows are for.
#15
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I thought violence wasnt your way in handling things?
#16
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v10kingsnake is offline
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It's not violence when the kids asking for it.
#17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
bushido
I thought violence wasnt your way in handling things?
It's not violent at all if done correctly. Minimal struggle and just like going to sleep.
#18
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I am the irritating airplane seat mate.
AS Mel the cook from the TV show
Alice once said "the best defense is a good offense".
Vanishing Point arcane reference # 798
#19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
v10kingsnake
The best is dropping silent bombs on a plane and when the smell hits you to look over to the guy next to you and give them the "dirtbag" look.
lol - you know you have excelled yourself when the sourrounding passengers stagger off the plane with eyes like strings looking like they've been sucking on a lemon.
Methane intoxication sucks ass
Last edited by Torquemonster : March 12th, 2008 at 10:59 PM .
