HR Productions Presents "Snakes in an Office"

**RockStar** · January 23rd, 2007, 08:53 AM

Answering service: "Hi, this is Greg..."

beep

Answering service: "Please enter your password..."

beep, beep, beep, beep

Answering service: "You have one unheard message..."

beep

Answering service: "First...unheard...message..."

Male voice #1: "Fuckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw"

Phone changes hands

Female voice #1: "Fuckaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw"

Phone changes hands

Male voice #1: "We just kicked the office owners out of the office"

Phone changes hands

Female voice #1: "You have no idea how bad I've been....in front of snakes!"

Male voice #1 (background): "Oh, yeah! There were snakes!"

Female voice #1: "There were snakes! Here, say "Fuck Canada!". It's Bacon"

Phone changes hands

Female voice #2: "Hello?"

Male voice #1 (background): "No, it's his voicemail"

Laughter

Female voice #2: "Fuck Canada!"

Female voice #1 (background): "Louder"

Female voice #2: "FUuuuuck CAaaaanada!"

Female voice #1 (background): "LOUDER!"

Female voice #2: "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK CAAAAAAAAANADA!!!"

Phone changes hands

Male voice #2: "They kicked us out of our office!"

Male voice #1 (background): "WOOOHOOOO!"

Female voice #1 (background): "There were snakes!"

Female voice #2: "Yeah, it was very exotic"

Laughter

Female voice #2: "We were kicked out of our office for 2 whole minutes!"

Phone changes hands

Male voice #2: "Be honest, it was more like 37 seconds"

Phone changes hands

Female voice #2: "Oh yeah, it was 37 seconds"

Female voice #1 (background): "WOOOOHOOOOO"

Male voice #1 (background): "Fuckaaaaaaaaaaaaaw"

Phone changes hands

Female voice #1: "FUCK CANADA!"

Phone changes hands

Male voice #1: "CANADA BLOWS!"

Click

WAR RIGHT CLICK/SAVE FILE AS "RETIREMENT FUND.WAV"

**Dohhunter** · January 23rd, 2007, 09:43 AM

Was there a timestamp attached to this message?

**RockStar** · January 23rd, 2007, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dohhunter

Was there a timestamp attached to this message?

1AM EST. Midnight CST.

My CSI skills peg T.O.D. (Time Of 1st Drink) around noon central time.

**HighRoller** · January 23rd, 2007, 10:38 AM

Apparently, we're not good people.

**Dohhunter** · January 23rd, 2007, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HighRoller

Apparently, we're not good people.

There is more to Canada than a place to rape and pillage you know.

We have feelings.

**PBG** · January 23rd, 2007, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dohhunter

There is more to Canada than a place to rape and pillage you know.

We have feelings.

Well, y'all used to be popular for your bacon, but I think Mr. Serialkiller put the whammie on that one.

**Dohhunter** · January 23rd, 2007, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PBG

Well, y'all used to be popular for your bacon, but I think Mr. Serialkiller put the whammie on that one.

There is no difference between pork tenderloin and woman tenderloin. Texture is the same, taste is the same, colour is the same.

Or so I've heard.

**Roadkill** · January 23rd, 2007, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PBG

Well, y'all used to be popular for your bacon, but I think Mr. Serialkiller put the whammie on that one.

Think of it as "That Special Canadian Taste" on your pizza

**SoCal Rebell** · January 23rd, 2007, 12:44 PM

Do we add that onto the "drunk" Canada calls bill?

**sundiego** · January 23rd, 2007, 01:53 PM

Remember, Canada can cut off Crown Royal shipments in a trade war.

**HighRoller** · January 23rd, 2007, 02:28 PM

That threat cuts both ways. If I stop drinking Crown, they'll have to close another manufacturing plant.

Mark O · January 23rd, 2007, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dohhunter

There is more to Canada than a place to rape and pillage you know.

I've heard that you've got some good nudie bars up there. That's a plus.

**Dohhunter** · January 23rd, 2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark O

I've heard that you've got some good nudie bars up there. That's a plus.

And when we use them up, we cut 'em up and bury 'em.

GTS Dean · January 24th, 2007, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HighRoller

That threat cuts both ways. If I stop drinking Crown, they'll have to close another manufacturing plant.

Ohhh - GOOD one!