Okay Festus....sing along with me if you can(you sing the boop boop part)...
Down in the meadow in a little bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too
"Swim" said the mama fishie, "Swim if you can"
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
"Stop" said the mama fishie, "or you will get lost"
The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed
The three little fishies went off on a spree
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
"Whee!" yelled the little fishies, "Here's a lot of fun
We'll swim in the sea till the day is done"
They swam and they swam, and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
"Help!" cried the little fishies, "Gee! look at all the whales!"
And quick as they could, they turned on their tails
And back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam back over the dam.
Now...wasn't that fun. Song kinda reminds you of the Alley don't it?
Why must you all shat upon my thread? Haven't you something better to do than shat on someone's beautiful thread...
OK you bastages and bimbettes, I'm getting this little jewel back on track...
Oh, no way, not now.
By the way my favorite country friend, I had another farm experience the other day that is too grossly funny not to share. As you heard in a prior post, one of our lambs has hemorroids. As if going to Walgreens to buy a king sized tube of roid cream and a box of rubber gloves isn't bad enough, I was the one who had to play Doctor at the farm. Here I am, kneeling down behind Daisy squeezing this cream into her butt, which is eye level by the way. (important detail) I finish squeezing it in, and pull out the nifty and by now nasty looking applicator. Daisy reacts by letting loose with a huge corn smelling cream filled explosion of gas.......right in my face. This was one of the few times I was grateful to be wearing glasses.
I'm thinking next year, Ash is just going to raise plants.
By the way my favorite country friend, I had another farm experience the other day that is too grossly funny not to share. As you heard in a prior post, one of our lambs has hemorroids. As if going to Walgreens to buy a king sized tube of roid cream and a box of rubber gloves isn't bad enough, I was the one who had to play Doctor at the farm. Here I am, kneeling down behind Daisy squeezing this cream into her butt, which is eye level by the way. (important detail) I finish squeezing it in, and pull out the nifty and by now nasty looking applicator. Daisy reacts by letting loose with a huge corn smelling cream filled explosion of gas.......right in my face. This was one of the few times I was grateful to be wearing glasses.
I'm thinking next year, Ash is just going to raise plants.
Yes, it's not always the romantic country setting imagined in many peoples minds. Sometimes it gets kind of gritty and well... that sounds like one of those times. BTW, ain't 'chu glad you've learned to keep your mouth shut when you're doctorin' animals?
Ewwwwwww! 'scuse me but I need to find the nearest bar ditch and let'er rip!
Remind me sometime to tell you about the cow we had that prolapsed... That was an intresting afternoon. Trying to stuff that great big ol' thing back inside her buttox was nothing less than a total fucking adventure in the art of gag reflex control.
By the way my favorite country friend, I had another farm experience the other day that is too grossly funny not to share. As you heard in a prior post, one of our lambs has hemorroids. As if going to Walgreens to buy a king sized tube of roid cream and a box of rubber gloves isn't bad enough, I was the one who had to play Doctor at the farm. Here I am, kneeling down behind Daisy squeezing this cream into her butt, which is eye level by the way. (important detail) I finish squeezing it in, and pull out the nifty and by now nasty looking applicator. Daisy reacts by letting loose with a huge corn smelling cream filled explosion of gas.......right in my face. This was one of the few times I was grateful to be wearing glasses.
I'm thinking next year, Ash is just going to raise plants.
That's so terrifically horrifying that I don't even know what to say. You now have the award for Most Disgusting Shit Ever Discussed On VA.
A freaking goat. Farted hemherroid cream on your face. I mean, I literally cannot imagine.
Okay Festus....sing along with me if you can(you sing the boop boop part)...
Down in the meadow in a little bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too
"Swim" said the mama fishie, "Swim if you can"
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
"Stop" said the mama fishie, "or you will get lost"
The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed
The three little fishies went off on a spree
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
"Whee!" yelled the little fishies, "Here's a lot of fun
We'll swim in the sea till the day is done"
They swam and they swam, and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
"Help!" cried the little fishies, "Gee! look at all the whales!"
And quick as they could, they turned on their tails
And back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam back over the dam.
Now...wasn't that fun. Song kinda reminds you of the Alley don't it?
That's so terrifically horrifying that I don't even know what to say. You now have the award for Most Disgusting Shit Ever Discussed On VA.
A freaking goat. Farted hemherroid cream on your face.
First off, read the details, it was a LAMB. Second, it's actually just a normal part of raising animals. I'm sure Trish has had to deal with worse in her job as a nurse. Animal poop doesn't gross me out anymore, but make me change somebody elses kids poopy diaper and I'll gag every time.
I'm sure Trish has had to deal with worse in her job...
you haven't lived till you have wiped granny asses, changed wrinkled wiener diapers and have people vomit on you after waking up from the anesthesia they get for surgery (the last happened yesterday)
Second, it's actually just a normal part of raising animals. I'm sure Trish has had to deal with worse in her job as a nurse. Animal poop doesn't gross me out anymore, but make me change somebody elses kids poopy diaper and I'll gag every time.