His high school job as a prisoner body double for the Dallas Police Department takes a strange twist as a bemused Dean takes one in the gut from Jack Ruby during a routine jail transfer. Dean survived the blast and later took partial credit for Ruby's accuracy in dispatching Lee Oswald in a similar schneezen ginsile. This incident was said to have begun a life long love affair with guns.
As an advisor to seven presidents, Dean fills in for Richard Nixon during a ceremonial presentation of a strange award compilation consisting of a Dracula costume, side burns crafted from samehereasthere's ear hair and a Casey Tibbs belt buckle to Elvis.
On a recent trip to Russia, Dean good naturedly agrees to fill in for Lenin's corpse while it is dusted and rehydrated in it's annual revolutionary rejuvenation.
While pinch hitting for the Bambino, Dean first points to the right field fence, then bangs a 525ft home run over said fence as he mugs for the camera.
Exhausted at the summit of Everest, Dean takes a moment to reflect on his grand gesture of carrying the grandson of Tensing Norgay on his back for the last 4000 ft to the top.
In this photo Dean seems to get a kick out of Dan Rather's massaging of LBJ's balls while the President dips his finger back into a correspondent's ear for another sample of hard to find press wax.
No Man, this thread cracks me up! I have no problems with it. 
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