It wasn't exactly embarrassing for me but I'm sure it was for the girl. When I was 16 I was hooking up with this girl that I hadn't been with before. I asked her what she wanted to do, and she didn't care. I then mentioned we should try doggie style. She agreed and I started undressing her.
Much to her surprise, at that time in my life I thought doggie style meant in the butt!!!
After 60 days at sea, we finally pull into port in Thailand. I sprinted down the gangway like OJ through an airport sprouting wood that could have substituted for a marlinespike. Being short on cash in those days, the best I could do was deaf mute who walked with a limp. After a couple of beers and her signing the obligatory I love you no shit sailor, we get back to her hotel room. Now I'm not bragging here, but the old Johnson was hard as blue steel and flailing about like a double jacketed 800 psi fire hose that had lost it's anchorman. I commenced to lay the steel pipe with the rhythm of a Makita hammer drill driving toward what would soon return a normal blood flow to my brain. Much to my great surprise, her whole body stiffened, her eyes rolled back in her head to where only the whites were showing and she began SPEAKING in Chinese before ceasing to breathe! Having rounded third and now heading for home I was in no position pull up short, so........ I held her nose gave her a breath, hit a stroke, gave her a breath, hit a stroke, gave her a breath until music filled the air. At the same time I reached home base, and much to my great relief she began to breathe normally. After a quick clean up and a smoke, she thanked me in perfect english and walked away with a skip in her step. Humbled by my experience, I returned to the ship with a resolve to continue to help those less fortunate than myself.
After 60 days at sea, we finally pull into port in Thailand. I sprinted down the gangway like OJ through an airport sprouting wood that could have substituted for a marlinespike. Being short on cash in those days, the best I could do was deaf mute who walked with a limp. After a couple of beers and her signing the obligatory I love you no shit sailor, we get back to her hotel room. Now I'm not bragging here, but the old Johnson was hard as blue steel and flailing about like a double jacketed 800 psi fire hose that had lost it's anchorman. I commenced to lay the steel pipe with the rhythm of a Makita hammer drill driving toward what would soon return a normal blood flow to my brain. Much to my great surprise, her whole body stiffened, her eyes rolled back in her head to where only the whites were showing and she began SPEAKING in Chinese before ceasing to breathe! Having rounded third and now heading for home I was in no position pull up short, so........ I held her nose gave her a breath, hit a stroke, gave her a breath, hit a stroke, gave her a breath until music filled the air. At the same time I reached home base, and much to my great relief she began to breathe normally. After a quick clean up and a smoke, she thanked me in perfect english and walked away with a skip in her step. Humbled by my experience, I returned to the ship with a resolve to continue to help those less fortunate than myself.
No Man, I like having you around here.
You are a funny fucker!
No Man, I like having you around here.
You are a funny fucker!
That's OK Jeff. I knew when I posted people would laugh at me, but I lived with it for a lot of years and needed to get it off my chest. The Alley is a wonderful venue for that type of therapy.
My most embarrassing? Getting caught by Ryan0 with Kate in the House of Charmin at Willow Springs
Great. I just got back from Willow. Every time I use the "House" I'm thinking of Socal doing it in here. It was 98 degrees today and that place did not smell good.
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