So, my wife and our kids made our 2nd annual (unfortunately) pilgrimage to the Mecca of the American children's summer entertainment; the theme park. I came back seriously concerned with the future of our country. I won't even identify which park we went to because they're all the same. Let's take this one by one:
Obesity is out of fucking control. I had a very tough time keeping my highly nutritious lunch (see point #2) down as I observed the people rolling around the park. I understand that some people have medical conditions that make them heavy and they can't help it. However, I guesstimated that about 70% of the people there were obese or severely overweight. If you haven't seen your genitals in over a decade, STOP EATING FOR A WHILE.
This brings me to point number two. The food served at these joints not only sucks ass, it's also so unhealthy no wonder all those whales flock to theme parks for their feeding frenzies. I have not seen any good snacks for kids offered at this park. It's all deep-fried, greasy, shit followed by tons of sugar-loaded dessert. What the fuck happened to "an apple a day?" Kids watch their parents clog their arteries with this shit so they think this is good food. I wanna be JUST like my mommy and daddy one day because it's sooooo cool to have a bed for each butt cheek.
Rudeness and inconsideration has surpassed human limits. Cutting lines, arguing, stampedes to the buffet, carrying 4 trays of food back to the table as if one can not get up again is just amazing. These dumb fucks don't realize that their kids are watching them and learning from them. At age 2 a child may not understand that cutting lines is inconsiderate to other people but if your kid is doing that at age 6, you have a fucking problem. Because the lack of regard for other people at age 6 will turn into lack of regard for people's lives at 16 and that's why 16 year-old punk ass fuckers are killing each other over nothing every day.
One the bright side, I thought the park attractions were very amusing. My favorites were the stampede and the feeding frenzy. The stampede is fun to watch but only from a safe distance. It occurs each morning as the gates are opened and people who have gathered outside rush in at neck-breaking speeds to see their favorite character or to get on a ride. Running with strollers and little ones in tow is necessary, mind you, because you only have an entire day (or more) to see the attractions. It's quite the sight to see cellulite darting in all directions at relatively high velocity.
The feeding frenzy is, actually, a combination of the stampede and an impressive show of agility. That's right, agility. When doors open to their favorite shit-food buffet, a small-scale stampede takes place. As the people return to their seats, they skillfully balance an average of three trays heaping with food. Because, you know, the park may actually run out of food not having properly accounted for the 25,000 fat fuckers that are going to patronize it that day. Not a single french fry will fall off the tray as they make their way back to the table with the grace of a ballerina. The feeding frenzy concludes with trays of unconsumed food heading for the trash can.
I can't believe how seriously fucked up some of the parents were. They're literally taking years off their kids' lives by feeding them this shit and allowing their children to be overweight at such young age. It's a fucking shame, really.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
:clap: Extremely well written, funny and sadly too accurate...
Lots of good (or bad) visuals in there. "Not a single french fry will fall off the tray as they make their way back to the table with the grace of a ballerina."
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul
The stampede is fun to watch but only from a safe distance. It occurs each morning as the gates are opened and people who have gathered outside rush in at neck-breaking speeds to see their favorite character or to get on a ride. Running with strollers and little ones in tow is necessary, mind you, because you only have an entire day (or more) to see the attractions. It's quite the sight to see cellulite darting in all directions at relatively high velocity.
Fat ass whining grease gobbling parent on >
But that iiiis execiiiiiiiiise
< Fat ass whining grease gobbling parent off
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
This is sooo true... I live in Europe (where it is still better in the "fat" area) but whenever we go swimming with our little kids and I see these 7 yrs old or the 14 yrs young ladies that are FAT it makes me so angry. How can their parents "allow" this? They will never get slim again. They fuck up their live.
The other thing that bothers me too it this extreme "ego-society".. Me, myself and I..
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
I was JUST saying the same thing yesterday... that I really fear for the future.
Caught the Dukes yesterday at a late matinee, and these two kids were actually crawling on the floor down my aisle. After that they decided it was okay to run down the aisle, first flipping each folding seat down and then flipping it back up again on the way back. This was during the movie and the parents did not even say a word. At his point I got out of my seat and yelled, "Hey! (suitable pause) FIND A SEAT AND SIT IN IT". The kids were so shocked that someone said something they stood there in a daze for a moment and then quickly went to the back where their parents were and sat down. There was mumbling of them explaining to their parents that they had just gotten yelled at and I pretty much expected the parents to come down at that point and defend their shitheads' behavior but I was ready for it and god help them if they had.
So after a short bit, the whole gaggle of them slunked out of the theater. My guess is they had seen some other show and then went in to watch this one as well without paying for it of course (our theater is a 20plex and when its off-peak time they only check your ticket once at the front, so you can theoretically pay once early in the day and see several shows if you're an ass). So these parents were real winners.
This whole country really seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
It's the ^ leisure time/money thing that was for-told decades ago. When I
was young there wasn't enough food around to get fat, and we weren't allowed
to hang around the house, so we wandered aimlessly in the woods.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
I think a lot of parents let their kids run wild in restaurants, movies, departments stores, etc because they take the stance "as long as they are not bothering me, let them do what they want". Nevermind I am trying to eat my dinner and some stupid fucking kid is screaming or running around the restaurant like a madman. I often want to break these parents neck. Apparently, the stupider the parent, the more kids they have.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul
So, my wife and our kids made our 2nd annual (unfortunately) pilgrimage to the Mecca of the American children's summer entertainment; the theme park. I came back seriously concerned with the future of our country. I won't even identify which park we went to because they're all the same. Let's take this one by one:
Obesity is out of fucking control. I had a very tough time keeping my highly nutritious lunch (see point #2) down as I observed the people rolling around the park. I understand that some people have medical conditions that make them heavy and they can't help it. However, I guesstimated that about 70% of the people there were obese or severely overweight. If you haven't seen your genitals in over a decade, STOP EATING FOR A WHILE.
This brings me to point number two. The food served at these joints not only sucks ass, it's also so unhealthy no wonder all those whales flock to theme parks for their feeding frenzies. I have not seen any good snacks for kids offered at this park. It's all deep-fried, greasy, shit followed by tons of sugar-loaded dessert. What the fuck happened to "an apple a day?" Kids watch their parents clog their arteries with this shit so they think this is good food. I wanna be JUST like my mommy and daddy one day because it's sooooo cool to have a bed for each butt cheek.
Rudeness and inconsideration has surpassed human limits. Cutting lines, arguing, stampedes to the buffet, carrying 4 trays of food back to the table as if one can not get up again is just amazing. These dumb fucks don't realize that their kids are watching them and learning from them. At age 2 a child may not understand that cutting lines is inconsiderate to other people but if your kid is doing that at age 6, you have a fucking problem. Because the lack of regard for other people at age 6 will turn into lack of regard for people's lives at 16 and that's why 16 year-old punk ass fuckers are killing each other over nothing every day.
One the bright side, I thought the park attractions were very amusing. My favorites were the stampede and the feeding frenzy. The stampede is fun to watch but only from a safe distance. It occurs each morning as the gates are opened and people who have gathered outside rush in at neck-breaking speeds to see their favorite character or to get on a ride. Running with strollers and little ones in tow is necessary, mind you, because you only have an entire day (or more) to see the attractions. It's quite the sight to see cellulite darting in all directions at relatively high velocity.
The feeding frenzy is, actually, a combination of the stampede and an impressive show of agility. That's right, agility. When doors open to their favorite shit-food buffet, a small-scale stampede takes place. As the people return to their seats, they skillfully balance an average of three trays heaping with food. Because, you know, the park may actually run out of food not having properly accounted for the 25,000 fat fuckers that are going to patronize it that day. Not a single french fry will fall off the tray as they make their way back to the table with the grace of a ballerina. The feeding frenzy concludes with trays of unconsumed food heading for the trash can.
I can't believe how seriously fucked up some of the parents were. They're literally taking years off their kids' lives by feeding them this shit and allowing their children to be overweight at such young age. It's a fucking shame, really.
Amen!
I have thought about this recently as well, and it seems the day of picking on that fat kid in elementary school is over with. Seems the minority nowadays are the skinny ones. I think they are going to be the kids getting the shit kicked outta themselves on the playgrounds come gradeschool. It's a shame that being different nowadays is actually just being NORMAL. Majority rules.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
A recent fat chick story:
I'm at an all-you-can eat pizza place. I see what looks like Shammu(sp) going for the salad bar. But my normally overly judgmental antifatty proclivities are tempered as I see her take the tongs and administer the smallest bit of rabbit food to her plate. I think to myself "self" you are a bad man for always being harsh on fat people, for there you are in the presence of the one fat chick in the world that is trying to care about herself.
Then she proceeded to ladle spoon after spoonful of thousand island over said bit of green.
All true.
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
Unfortunately to say, Amerika is a nation of fat fucks!
Every time I get back from an overseas business trip, I'm reminded at once of our national disgrace upon viewing the maggotry in the airport of entry and smelling the fast food cooking lard in the air - of the black/white contrast between where I've been (usually somewhere in the former Soviet Union or China) and our overstuffed populace!
And the ultimate irony is: we are exporting our way of life to these poor fuckers! Every year, the babes I gaze upon walking along Tverskaya at Pushkin get a bit flabbier, a bit less taut, as the effects of all those sugar-laden desserts start to settle into cellulite layers.
WAR: Keep Mickey-Dees for the inbreds here, in hopes of at least preserving the second and third worlds!
Re: I have seen the future..... and it\'s a shitshow
