Location: 3 Viper owner in PA...and they're all RED!
Posts: 6,872
Rep Power: 18
Headlines: Last call for.....
....The Woolie Ladies.
The evening paper has reported that, during the early morning hours, a 56 year old retired lunatic, obviously suffering from years of unintentional inhalation of paint fumes and lack of female companionship, broke into a local farmer's barnyard and killed 3 sheep. It is unknown, however, how the killings occurred, as there was no sign of a struggle. The farmer stated that he found the sheep, lying dead with their rear extremities high in the air, wearing high heels, and he stated that they seemed to be "smiling".
It would appear that this will put an end to the infamous Woolie Ladies!!
The victims were found wrapped in clear plastic and Styrofoam plates under them. Incriminate claw marks were found, and a large tub of purple grape juice was found. Also found were several tins of mint jelly. Police speculate this may have been a cult, but no one is speaking to reporters at this time.
A white Bronco was seen in the area, but this has yet to be confirmed.
Denny 'Woolie' BigWang was questioned, but released due to a lack of evidence. Mr. BigWang, the infamous pimp, has been the center of several ewe incidents in the past, but his whereabouts were unknown, according to un-named sources. It is rumored that Mr BigWang is in hiding, and any questions are being refered to his lawyers; Schill, Lawboy, DNR, and Slaughterj or SLDS, inc. Any calls to them have gone unanswered.
The investigation is on going the the police are asking the general public for anyone who as knowledge to step forward.
It is rumored that Mr BigWang is in hiding, and any questions are being refered to his lawyers; Schill, Lawboy, DNR, and Slaughterj or SLDS, inc. Any calls to them have gone unanswered.
First of all, NO ONE's name goes before mine. It is, after all, my legal team.
Therefore, its Lawboy, Schill, Slaughter and DNR, L.L.P. (law firms cant be normal corporations) or LSSN, LLP for short.
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