Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Emilie:
When you first join a board, and the leghumping is in full fray, it's hard to know whom you should allow to hump your leg. Which men are rich? Which ones are married? Which ones are funny and fun? Which ones are nice? Which ones have micropenis?
For a modest fee, I can help you answer all of these questions (except for the micropenis one). I can tell you which guys are worth your time, which guys are worth a naughty pic or two, and which guys to stay away from.
Now, at your tender age (and, rich old men, let's not underemphasize the word "tender" here), you may not have much discretionary cash.
That's okay. Schillinger, Internet Golddigging Consultant, works on a contingent fee arrangement. You score the man, then you pay according to the plan. While the details can be discussed later, I note that I get a 25% bonus if "he's cute," or a 35% bonus if he's really close to kicking the bucket.
Emilie, don't waste your e-time. Hire Schillinger, Internet Goldigging Consultant, this very day. Picture this, Emilie: one year from now, you can relegate the VR4 to the maid, as you spool up the turbos on that new turbocharged Viper.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schillinger
No fair trying to influence the outcome, Lawboy. I take my goldigging consultant duties seriously.
Watch it emilie,, he'll screw ya in the book-keeping!!!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img]
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schillinger
Emilie:
For a modest fee, I can help you answer all of these questions (except for the micropenis one). I can tell you which guys are worth your time, which guys are worth a naughty pic or two, and which guys to stay away from.
step off super fly.. she's already my ho..
now back to your corner before i sick Milt on you..
WAR "Girls back in 45 minutes or Milt cuts your balls off. Pretty heavy, hey dude?"!
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schillinger
...
That's okay. Schillinger, Internet Golddigging Consultant, works on a contingent fee arrangement. You score the man, then you pay according to the plan. While the details can be discussed later, I note that I get a 25% bonus if "he's cute," or a 35% bonus if he's really close to kicking the bucket.
...
25%-35%? um, how about 5%-10% of 3/4 of what i spend on a new car, after deducting the costs of registering, insuring, taxes, etc? and i'll even throw in a bonus of 4 brand new tires of your choice [img]/images/graemlins/wink[/img]
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Oh Emilie. You're thinking small. A new car may seem like a big deal, if you're talking about dating the assistant manager at the local stereo shop. But we are talking about dirty old men on a much "grander" scale. Men who command power and wealth beyond your simple imagination. Wealth, security, and--dare I say it--a soulmate, can be yours. All you have to do is "think *inside* the box."
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Re: Emilie: You need me as your golddigging consultant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RockStar
If Emilie can pass herself off as a midget I know the perfect guy.
And I'll set it up completely gratis. No strings attached, no hidden fees.
WAR E-BUSINESS ETHICS
No, no. Clark's lust for midgets is so overpowering, he would certainly break Emilie's heart. At first he'd be "working late." Then she'd start to notice strange things. Maybe a strange set of very small panties mixed in with the laundry, which Clark would pass off as "maybe the maid was doing her laundry here and those are her little girl's." Perhaps receipts for size 4T (toddler) dresses, that Clark would say were "a present for my co-workers 5 year old." But then one day she'd come early to catch him in bed with 3 midget lesbians, crushing her heart.
