I am way to cute to be this poor. WAY too cute! If you want someone to go shopping with you, I am really good at that. I am also talented in sitting at the high roller table and guarding your chips. I am good at laying out by pools and riding on boats. I have a high metabolism so I can go out to dinner and not turn into a whale. Basically I am good at looking cute and being fun but I do not put out unless I am dating someone really hot. If you want to email me and explain why you think I am a retard for posting this then go ahead but I really won't care so you may as well keep it to yourself. Some day I will settle into a career and use my degree to live a menial existance.
For now I want to capitalize on being someone's arm candy while I still can because lord knows when I have had a husband for a few years, to whom I am completely devoted, he will turn away from me and toward a hot young blonde when he notices my first signs of a lower abdominal roll. I may as well be the little bitch that makes 30-something women so frigging bitter and unpleasant before I turn into a grinch myself. I do not want to spend time with someone loathesome so please have all of your teeth, be well kempt, and dress and act classy. And don't beg me for sex the whole time we are hanging out because that does not indicate class. Not that internet solicitation does. Pretense will get you nowhere with me so leave your corvette in the garage and your $10 chips in your pocket. I want the real deal and I am offering less than that. If that's okay with you we can make beautiful music.
So she marries a mullet and now regrets it...
I have some candy for her, how about some eat some bon bons and go sit on the couch in the pride of the park mobile home you live in and turn on Oprah.
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