I've been having a very hard time lately with thoughts of past events. They keep creeping up on me, sending me into a state of just "blah" feeling. Not just my past, but others pasts... sometimes it ticks me off so bad I can't even look at a person anymore. I know that no one can change the past, but my mind won't stop dwelling on it.
I haven't slept in 3 days, I'm restless at night. I took a walk around the neighborhood at 2am this morning because I couldn't stop thinking about old events. This sucks. Fits of jealousy and rage are in short, unexpected bursts. Then other times, I feel like I could just crawl under a rock and die.
Who knows, maybe all the stress of the last 6 months have finally hit.
Ignore my rant, just whining [img]/images/graemlins/cry.gif[/img]
I'll be going to the beach in a few months for a weekend, but I won't have a large vaccation for several years. Work, selling a house, building a house... it never ends man.
Not to sound like a dick, but at least your in a postition to have to worry about such things. Alot of people in this world are worried about how to feed their kids, and where they're going to sleep that night.
My brother is a cardiologist, my sister is a physical therapist. I've seen the worst of the accidents and what it does to people. She works with burn patients mostly. I used to volunteer at the hospital when I was younger, but haven't years.
Don't think I don't know about others, but it's not my responsibility to take on their burden as well. Many others are doing better than I am, but should I throw the
whole "you should be lucky" crap back in their face as well?
Actually, there may be a chemical imbalance. Perhaps a visit to a doctors office could help?
100% correct! Nothing wrong with it either. But if things are really as bad as your post, all avenues should be explored. They have meds that will clear it up very quickly! And w/o going to a shrink either. You're family doctor will do. Sounds like a possible lack of serotonin.
Seriously dude, it sounds to my untrained ear like it may be a case of clinical depression. It's just a fucked up chemical imbalance that is often (not always) brought on by stress. Often a hereditary thing as well. Nothing to feel ashamed of, it's not a weakness of character, just your body going wacko. Happened to my sister. Don't try to shrug it off or be stoic about it ... go to a doc and get some pills and get fixed. Hell, shrinks won't "analyze" you these days, they just dispense these sorts of meds.
Don't fuck around with this any longer. It's serious shit, but it's real treatable.
I went to a psychiatrist when i was younger. I found it to be very helpful as i was seriously depressed at the time. I found it to be basically an outlet for pent up feelings and issues that i haven't had the time or the knowledge to deal with. This happened to me while i was in high school and i lost most of my family in a short period of time.
I found that seeking outside advice, from someone knowledgeable helped me tremendously and made me a better man, and big picture -i just needed that one time help.
Today, 20 years later they have all kinds of tools, techniques and medicines to fine tune for you. I would encourage you explore the opportunities of modern medicine.
Ok Maxx. I do know a little more about this stuff than I let on at first. Not only did my sister suffer from this, but one of my daughters did as well. I've done quite a bit of research into the symptoms as well as having witnessed them first hand. One thing I can tell you is that it's real hard for the individual who's involved to tell that something is "not right". When you're at the center of it, it really does feel like life is shit. They can't hardly imagine that things don't have to feel this way. The fact that you recognize that something about you isn't quite what it used to be indicates a powerful personality that's still fighting to not 'go under'.
The bursts of anger, the irritability and the constant negative feelings over a long period of time are a spot-on indication of depression. Once again I say, run, don't walk to your doctor and he will refer you to a psychiatrist who can confirm or deny the existence of depression. They may have to tinker around with dosages and different types of medecines for a while to get it right, but when they do, your world will improve drastically and you will be amazed.
Whatever you do, don't waste your time on talk-therapy, holistic bullshit or manly stoicism. You need to re-balance your seratonin, dopamine and adrenaline (neural transmitters). That's it. Not a character weakness ... just think of it as a defect in your wiring circuitry.
