Some of you guys here know me as the milktoast smackless lurker with a midget fetish. My close friends know me simply as "the guy with the midget fetish". However, I have now officially gotten my midget panties in a major wad. This year, against good legal advice and everything that I hold dear, I renewed my VCA membership(I still think they will make a comeback...and you sumbitches are gonna be sorry you pissed them off)...but I wander. Anyway, the VCA sends me no less than 4 welcome letters for the renewal and two letters thanking me for buying the SRT and letting me know that I get some free stuff for writing a $90k check to our friends in Germany...with a depository bank in Dallas. So I wait for my free stuff...particularly, that little VCA card that has a pic of the SRT and kinda looks like a Sears/JC Penney/Wal-Mart/Target credit card when you use it in a dark place and at a speed that falls somewhere between warp 2 and 5. I even used it as an ID to get into no less than THREE midget titty bars located just south of Smokins' condo in Houston. So I know the damn thing is really valuable. I have phoned the VCA no less than a half-dozen times and each time they assure me that the card will be mailed that day.
As of March 16, 2004....no fuckin' card. And I can hear the midget titties in Houston calling my name...and I can't do a damn thing about it.
I think the VCA has "silently" banned me. Oh sure, I can still post but its those midget titties that I wanna see...not Bonkers latest body work.
If you are reading this VCA...you have totally screwed up my enjoyable, sexually deviant activities. Thanks for your efforts.
I checked with my contacts on the other side and it seems that there is a new secret rule against midgets exposing their breasts for VCA members (it's the devils work, you know). There is a genuine concern for your soul here and its a known fact that midgets carry WOMD. So your case is being handed by a tribunal. As you might expect, the tribunal is super-secret and you are not entitled to a lawyer or a review of your case.
You should have kept your mouth shut midget-lover, because your post contains actual profanity as well as implied profanity, which as you know, is strictly against the rules.
I'd ban you myself, but then I'd never get another foot dance at the midget-bars.
Oh great one, Please help out brother sameashere. He has been touched by the devil. He need your healing, for the affliction. Please bring him into you light and help him deal with this issue. He has suffered enough, and needs to be healed. It is only with your grace and strength, he may be able to face up this affliction he has. It may be a small problem to some here.
Please help him get over the fact he's been banned by the VCA at times.
I checked with my contacts on the other side and it seems that there is a new secret rule against midgets exposing their breasts for VCA members (it's the devils work, you know). There is a genuine concern for your soul here and its a known fact that midgets carry WOMD. So your case is being handed by a tribunal. As you might expect, the tribunal is super-secret and you are not entitled to a lawyer or a review of your case.
You should have kept your mouth shut midget-lover, because your post contains actual profanity as well as implied profanity, which as you know, is strictly against the rules.
I'd ban you myself, but then I'd never get another foot dance at the midget-bars.
Niiiiice MP!
Clark, as a member of the banned, I appreciate and understand that. And while we're being honest, I miss my little card too! While I never used it to get into a midget titi bar, I did proudly wear it around my neck each time I drove the Viper. I also would flash it at COPS when passing them and it always worked. (I think they thought I was an undercover COP. You know, one of them) I miss the VCA. Truly I do.
I know what you mean PB. I was a proud card carrying member myself. I would often use the card to get into most of DFW's finest eating establishments... places like Wendy's and Burger King actually honor these and give you free ice with every soda :clap: Of course, I realize that by taking my $100 and not sending me my special membership card that they are actually subliminally telling me that they don't want my midget-loving-minititstaring-dwarfidolizing ass in their club. And to top it off they KNOW that the only reason I went to VOI is because it got me out of the office and out of town on something besides business...and because they KNEW THAT they scheduled the damn VOI in Dallas....just to piss me off and get me to give up my card privileges.
Well, I ain't goin' down without a fight. If they thought that the munchkins looked pretty scary gathered in a group in OZ...wait'll they see the legions of dwarfs that I assemble and march toward and over their offices they call an impenetrable fortress.
I'm pissed. I want my card. I want my free ice. I want my mini-titties.
Be scared VCA...be very scared. You WILL soon hear the patter of tiny little feet as they march their way over your moat and thru your front gate.
I'd ban you myself, but then I'd never get another foot dance at the midget-bars.
Yeah sure PJ...like you just grew a pair of liberal balls while we weren't lookin'
And DON'T piss me off by trying to backstab me with with dwarf-styled-innuendo. It don't work on me buddy. I've got midget friends that, when stacked up on top of each other,can handle ANYTHING you "think" you can dish out. And they STAY pissed...just looking for a tallee so they can kick some ass.
So quit pissing on me and telling me that its good for my hair...just get busy and creat a ViperAlley card that I can use instead of the VCA vapor-card. For a moment...just stop taking pics of naked women and make a card..will ya'
(man.. for some people you gotta paint 'em a picture before they FINALLY get the idea!)
Clark, just PM Socal! I'm sure he's got some midget porn he'd send you way! One of the tapes in the box of soup he sent me had some little midget dude porking a fairly hot broad. I had a bad experience with a "little person" as a child, so I'd be glad to overnight that one to you. Would that help fulfill your burning....desire? If that doesn't work for you, I might be able to send Smokin over for a private dance. No VCA card needed!
How does this affect Midget Bowling? If I can't get shithoused and Al Bundy some "little people" down the bar into flaming bowling pins, then I'm going to have to reconsider my interest in a Comp Coupe.
It would seem that card printers are pretty expensive ($1500-$3000). Making them personalized is what gets expensive - maybe we can find a vendor willing to do up cards in 100 unit batches with personalized names on them?
Then we can apply for recognition in the midget-bar association for discounts.
Clark, just PM Socal! I'm sure he's got some midget porn he'd send you way! One of the tapes in the box of soup he sent me had some little midget dude porking a fairly hot broad. I had a bad experience with a "little person" as a child, so I'd be glad to overnight that one to you.
Then we can apply for recognition in the midget-bar association for discounts.
This is a GREAT idea! You have no idea how many organizations out there that cater to our "wee" friends(in celebration of St.Patricks day). I've been to numerous mixers that creates the sole purpose of uniting a tallee with a shortee. And these things are incredibly fun...you can dance with like 3 different folks on each foot.
BC...I plan on doing just that as soon as I make absolutely sure that Ron ain't employing "short" people instead of real live, elbow-armed dwarfs. Oh sure, he is probably always using them as extras because he can get more of 'em in the Chrysler mini-van that is also used as a dressing room. But I am still concerned about SoCal's ability to distinguish between dwarf abuse and dwarf respect.
I know what it means...I understand dwarf respect. That's why I always carry two in my briefcase whenever I go to an important meeting...they're great for foot rubs after a 10 hour negotiation and NOBODY realizes they are even there.
Donald Trump taught me this form of business stress relief. Thanks Don.
Ahhh...I can always depend on Smackie to get to real heart-of-the-matter :thumb: It's a proven fact that dwarfs love participating in athletic endeavors. Sure, the balls, rackets, helmets, uniforms, goals, fields, seats, steering wheels, tires, tracks, etc. are way smaller than standard but the competition can be just as heated in dwarf vs. dwarf as it is in Kid versus Serious.
Bowling ain't so good. The balls will consistently roll between their little bowlegs so they gotta be the ball...no pins for our little friends.
Oh...I see now. So Mr. Smackie thinks he can just go out into Smokin's neighborhood bar and pickup two or three of my height-challenged friends and then roll them up into a ball...with three holes in it....and then throw them down a wood floor bowling alley into some pins that Smackie has ILLEGALLY doused with lighter fluid.
