still on the fence, its just that I won't travel an hour to watch racing here in FL, but in Texas I'll have the chance to meet so many cool people....and if you don't want me to go just let me know.. That will help me make up my mind.. [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Ummmm, I probably won't be there is a good reason...LOL I am still trying to sell the wife on it. Out look is bleak though. Fuck marriage is hard sometimes. Pick and choose your battles though.
Do I need to bring my tazer to San Antonio? Any idea how many volts I need to charge it up with to bring down a big buffalo like you? [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Gerald, I am flying my ass down from Quebec City just to meet you! Now you go and change your mind at the last minute? I am so pissed right now it is not even funny! That's it. I'm out... [img]/images/graemlins/angry.gif[/img]
Really mad [img]/images/graemlins/angry.gif[/img]
[img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img] (j/king), seriously Gerald, you are one of many guys I would like to meet there. I think this will be a mother of a gathering. The one you will kick yourself in the ass for not coming...
and Greg #11 is on me [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Tejas?!?!?!??? Why, I can't think of a single reason why anyone would hesitate to visit our nation's most hospitable and lovely state. Just think of all there is to do, see and appreciate in the Lone Star State - for example, if you drive in from Florida you could stop at one of the 15,000 Catfish Kings in Arkansas - now there is a tasty treat you wouldn't want to miss. I can almost smell the tin of lard waiting to be dumped into the hush puppy fryer. However, don't forget to stock up on some frosty refreshments before leaving your home - the south is one of the few places where you can see a dude toss a can of Dixie from his truck while driving through a "dry" county - nice one, Bubba.
Once in the Longhorn State, there is a veritable cornucopia of cultural landmarks. Let's see, East Texas hosts the world's largest ball of twine, the world's largest stuffed lizard, and the world' second largest mud hut, all within spittin' distance of each other. Don't forget to stop at one of the tourist centers dispersed throughout the eastern portion of the state (in California we call them "truck stops"). There you can pick up some tasty vittles, and a mesh-backed hat with the phrase, "Texas Don't Take Sh*t From Nobody" embossed across the foam front. That chapeau should be a big hit when you run into the finest ladies the town has to offer in the parking lot of said tourist center. (Traveller's tip - if you really want to make an impression with Ellie Mae and her kin, pick up some cross-tops or blueies from the trucker parked in the next stall - the Texettes seem to like them party favors.)
After arriving in the central portion of the state, be sure to stop by some of the high society places in Dallas. Be forewarned, however, most of the finer eating establishments will require you to remove the cow doo doo from your boots "before" entering the dining room. Also, many of the moves that worked with the gals in the eastern part of the state will not work here. You'll have to ditch the trucker cap and go for a 5 or even 10 gallon "cowboy" hat. (I don't know why, but the women folk, and even some of the dudes, really seem to be suckers for these lids - don't ask why.) The other item you'll need to entice the ladies residing in the Dallas/DFW area will be money - and lots of it. These little heifers don't come cheap - I'm talking, $15, $20 easy. And if you actually expect her to spit out her gum, be prepared to shell out north of $25 on dinner, a movie and a motel room.
You'll need to wind down after your hedonistic stay in the central portion of the state, so I suggest continuing to west Texas to enjoy some of the scenery and nice weather. You might even be able to stay with Biggie in his casa. On a clear day you can see all the way to the Pacific Ocean (assuming a tumble weed, or caravan of illegal aliens doesn't cross your line of sight). I also highly recommend visiting one of the quaint little jerkwaters in the area. There you will likely be able to visit a truck stop, errrrr, tourist welcome center where you can purchase assorted "My Boyfriend Went to Texas and All He Brought Me Was a Nice Case of Crabs" t-shirts, lapel pins and bolo ties.
Yep, Texas - the ideal vacation spot for any tourist, literate or not.
Come on down! Shit, this sounds great! I may not have to buy a single drink! Hopefully I can make it through 12 rounds of drinks! [img]/images/graemlins/freak3.gif[/img]
Kid, you laugh about Texas as a vacation spot. But think about it: All the illegals comprising 80% of California's population have to have someplace to visit now that you've given them driver's licenses, and multilingual Texas (here, multilingual
