No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
relatively well. However, you are still parched.
You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some
reason, you are craving a steak & fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look
okay, but you have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are
chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is
still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM
Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being
wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely
not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds
you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends
dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you
were home in your bed watching Lucy
reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3
iced teas and a
diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too
quickly or else you
might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being
late and has given
you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore
nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only
shaved one side of
your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your
make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look
like one big red vein, and even your
hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the
first of about five shits you take during the day brings
water to the eyes of everyone who
enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually
annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor
is seeping out of every pore
and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the
corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt
to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has
lost the ability to generate
saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the
foggiest idea
who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this
morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like
discharge of alcohol-scented
fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of
this floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all
over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE
DRUNK:
Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquaci ous
Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.
I have had the old #2 many times. In fact, every single time that I'm around Eric and Biggs (and now Tucker), it's old #2 from the old #7 the night before.
Those bastages are just bad apples. Plain and simple!
Stalker...
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.
Too friggin funny! [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img]
I have had the old #2 many times. In fact, every single time that I'm around Eric and Biggs (and now Tucker), it's old #2 from the old #7 the night before.
Those bastages are just bad apples. Plain and simple!
You know you've got a bad problem when you project it on others. I don't mind being your huckleberry but don't make me your scapegoat mutherfucker!!! [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Well since I don't drink wine and I've been drunk (with you) on (your) wine now several times........ Fuck me? Fuck you! [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
I have had the old #2 many times. In fact, every single time that I'm around Eric and Biggs (and now Tucker), it's old #2 from the old #7 the night before.
Those bastages are just bad apples. Plain and simple!
Stalker...
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.
Too friggin funny! [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img]
I was gonna say the same about you, you old booze soaked dirty diaper ... which is what (if I recall) you smell like the day after one of your chronic binges that you drag me down into.
Oh and another thing you in particular can't seem to say when you're drunk is "No thanks, I don't think it would be right or practical to drive fifteen miles through the dunes to the Mexican whorehouse at 1 am." You can't say that worth a shit if I recall.
What I can't seem to say when I'm drunk is - "Do you think packing the pickup with six drunks and ten automatic weapons and shooting the shit out of the countryside in the middle of the night is really such a good idea?" Not only can't I say that when I'm drunk but it doesn't even occur to me to try to say it.
I have had the old #2 many times. In fact, every single time that I'm around Eric and Biggs (and now Tucker), it's old #2 from the old #7 the night before.
Those bastages are just bad apples. Plain and simple!
Stalker...
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN
YOU'RE DRUNK:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer isn't it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn't.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I'm being such a jackass.
Too friggin funny! [img]/images/graemlins/laughing.gif[/img]
I was gonna say the same about you, you old booze soaked dirty diaper ... which is what (if I recall) you smell like the day after one of your chronic binges that you drag me down into.
Oh and another thing you in particular can't seem to say when you're drunk is "No thanks, I don't think it would be right or practical to drive fifteen miles through the dunes to the Mexican whorehouse at 1 am." You can't say that worth a shit if I recall.
What I can't seem to say when I'm drunk is - "Do you think packing the pickup with six drunks and ten automatic weapons and shooting the shit out of the countryside in the middle of the night is really such a good idea?" Not only can't I say that when I'm drunk but it doesn't even occur to me to try to say it.
Dirty diaper?!? I resent that! [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Well Bucko, since you were leading the way on the 2nd deal and you were a RCH from being talked into the 1st deal, I guess I don't feel to awful bad... [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
It's funny that this thread came up at this time as yesterday I had a #3 from beer & Patrone Tequila making your secret somewhat bogus. It is most likely however that I have averted a good old #5 due to a partly true assessment.
I'm now going to continue to "take it easy" today. Thank you very much.
It's funny but I've noticed that no matter how crazy drooling drunk you get, you never seem to have a hangover. Fucking Biggsie will be stumbling around blind with a HUUUGE soaking drool sop covering the front of his shirt and four hours of sleep later he's up at the crack of dawn all chipper and ready to go hunt or whatever. Truly amazing. You must have some crazy mutant liver action going on in there.
It's funny but I've noticed that no matter how crazy drooling drunk you get, you never seem to have a hangover. Fucking Biggsie will be stumbling around blind with a HUUUGE soaking drool sop covering the front of his shirt and four hours of sleep later he's up at the crack of dawn all chipper and ready to go hunt or whatever. Truly amazing. You must have some crazy mutant liver action going on in there.
I'll never live down the drool sop! Wish I'd never shown it to you! BTW, I've learned that one of the side effects of Flexeril is night sweats around the head and shoulders! (says so in the package insert). Until I read that I actually thought the soaking might be drool related.
As far as my mutant liver, must be related to the Hepatitis C I beat and all the related meds! (or all those years working in the booze bidness! ).
Figgers ... 
[img]/images/graemlins/puke.gif[/img] 