Hate to say it, but the return of these orignal suspects is like watching grandpa figure out a remote after being in the big house for 20 years. They are stuck reminscing their sorded days with strolls down memory lane. Thing is memory lane has turned to memory ghetto. Fuckin bars have gone up on the windows, and pee-wee who used to peddle crack on the corner is now the fuckin columbian drug-lord Godfather. You cant pay for your groceries using confederate money, and the lamination on their smack license has yellowed....fuckin expired. No get out of jail free card, you cant pass go, get in the fuckin line. Should we have reverence for our forefathers of smack? fuck no! Reverence for anything here is dead. Get those creaky smack typing fingers widdling and prove yourselves again motherfuckers.
This is what I like to point to as the definition of a "quality post." Let me run down all of the "points of light" contained in this post for any aspiring Smack Kings:
1) Liberal Doses of F-Bombs. Yep, no other word expresses so much as one F-Bomb. Why take the time or thought to express yourself with multisyllabic representations of the English language when one good F-Dog will do? Niiiiiice.
2) Multiple Conjugations of the F-Bomb. When combined with point #1, this skill makes prose shine. The ability to use an F-Dog as a verb, adverb, noun and proper noun in one sentence is the mark of a true artiste.
3) Sound Tough and Say Nothing. The infamous IEAT was the hands-down World Champion at this discipline. He could scare the poo-poo out of you with the nasty, intimidating words (or attempt at words) that he'd eagerly bang out on his keyboard. Ooooooooh, the thought of those burns makes me quiver. While this post is a little weak in this area, the rousing exhortation at the end of it somewhat makes up for the lack of "Next-Time-I-See-You-At-The-Track-I'll-Take-You-Out" quality.
4) Extreme use of the Smiley-Faces. While this tactic has evolved from the use of a colon and an end-parenthesis (or even a semi-colon and an end-parenthesis for those times when you are feeling frisky), the use of the high tech "emoticon" or "graemlin" is money. Got nothing to add to a post? Can't think of a witty retort? English isn't your native language? No problem! Just go to the smiley-face menu and pick out your favorite two or ten smiley faces (you know the one horking on his neighbor, or maybe the lil' smiley guy with death ray laser gun), slap them on your post, and hit "post." Your friends will love it.
As you can see, the above message has it all - a real winner. There is no way that I, or any other poster, short of Driving Cones himself could compete with this work of art.
All these guys claiming that the "suspects" are dead are akin to a bunch of 'necks taunting a badger. They know it'll fuck 'em up it they push hard enough, but the one guy that has to lick his wounds ends up providing the "entertainment" for all the others. If I've seen it once I've seen it five times. If you give it enough thought (don't hurt yourself IEAT, errr, badvenom) I'm sure you'll come up with one certain conclusion.
I forgot where I was going.....I am old and smackless.
A decoy badger? Niiiiice, now if we could just get Radio to play with it whilst the 'necks yell, "get your dick outta my badger before I shoot the shit outta you boy!" Ahhhhh....the Alley would be a much better place.
A decoy badger? Niiiiice, now if we could just get Radio to play with it whilst the 'necks yell, "get your dick outta my badger before I shoot the shit outta you boy!" Ahhhhh....the Alley would be a much better place.
This and the Epic dumbass comment makes for a new record.
Never ruined 2 keyboards in one night.
I will be sending you the bill. [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
Hey how do we know this is the real Kiddy97PBS? The smack has been sparse, like he has been having to change diapers between posts and trying to find the wet wipes to clean the baby poop off his fingers before he types.
Hey how do we know this is the real Kiddy97PBS? The smack has been sparse, like he has been having to change diapers between posts and trying to find the wet wipes to clean the baby poop off his fingers before he types.
How do we know if this is the PBS kid?
I sent KID an email and asked him to pull his head out of his "split tail's" ass and join the ever-so-enjoyable fray. He probably had to go back in and get some air before he asphyxiates. He'll be back, and yes it's KIDGTS in all his undiluted glory.
A decoy badger? Niiiiice, now if we could just get Radio to play with it whilst the 'necks yell, "get your dick outta my badger before I shoot the shit outta you boy!" Ahhhhh....the Alley would be a much better place.
There was actually a movie with that little bit of whacked imagery in it. I think it was The Salton Sea. Only ironically it was a SoCal psycho-tweaker meth cook who kept a pet badger to eat the dicks off his enemies. No shit.
[Rastus/Deliverance] We don' do badgers down heayuh mah frayn ... Not that we wouldn' do 'em if'n we had 'em, it's jes dey don' live heayuh 'bouts.
A decoy badger? Niiiiice, now if we could just get Radio to play with it whilst the 'necks yell, "get your dick outta my badger before I shoot the shit outta you boy!" Ahhhhh....the Alley would be a much better place.
This and the Epic dumbass comment makes for a new record.
Never ruined 2 keyboards in one night.
I will be sending you the bill. [img]/images/graemlins/supergrin.gif[/img]
I'm short on cAsh right now, my lawnboy's pool hall venture just went belly-up. Can I just send the keyboard?
rapid deteriorating roi pre-meltdown forced him to early retirement .. last i heard .. he's running a teacup dobbie puppy mill two miles from dr.laura and moonlighting for ups!
Kid97GTS, Tenney, Brett, Smackie together again! Plus the refuse from this board! This is the best Kwanza present ever!
I could have predicted that this would send you skipping about the Alley in a girlish love lost then found sort of glee. Just not a black girlish glee ... that one's got me somewhat baffled.
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