Quote:
Originally Posted by Shotgun Willie
SE, I got through the V-dub fireball, threw in a glove that doesn't fit, spilled Malox (WW's fault) and the dead neighbor part of the game plan when I realized I had an ethical issue. I had to weigh this as "internet humor" ha ha ha, VS. was this a potential "Real World" act?
As an officer of the court, I have a duty to report any criminal acts by a client. Now as didn't you pay a retainer and nor would this be pro-bono (we are talking about a dead Chinese neighbor here in this scenario) you are not really a client. That said, I am still an officer of the court and see some potential legal problems here. We're looking at arson, fraud, murder, hate crimes, conspiracy charges at the bare minimum which could be brought based on your request.
Now, if this is real world then I would have to call the cops. But this is the internet, so where do we draw the line?
My conscious was bothering me so I called the state bar ethics hot line to seek clarification on my issues. Told them the situation, and they advised anyone living and driving in California should be allowed the defense of killing anybody, especially bad Asian drivers. We do have a law on the books here in Tejas about bad Asian drivers, but you can only use the brush guard on your truck to make contact with their cars.
The man with the state bar ethical division mumbled something about why a real Texan would want a yuppity BMW and he also advised Mylanta is better.
He told me I really need to get a hold of the California people as this "set of events" is taking place in California and jurisdiction would be there ultimately.
I put a call through to the California state bar ethics committee to get further clarification on my ethical dilemma. Once I hear back from them today I will let you know what we can do to get you your shiny new BMW M3. The fact that you live in California is a defense, so I'm feeling pretty good right now about this.
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I'm glad the California defense holds for killing Asian drivers. You seemed to have concerns there for a moment about me having confessed some sort of "illegal acts". Needless to say I was a bit shocked and even hurt by your harsh legal interpretation of my picture. I was about to reply in grumpy tones that it's not a hate crime. Not at all. Hadn't I shown you that my rage is a manifestation of my impairment? ... You might even say a traumatic response to a longterm and pervasive condition of threat and abuse that I face day after day. I wouldn't go so far as to compare my commute to work with a Humvee patrol in Ramadi but I would ask you to consider the constant and grinding sense of fear, stress and outrage that I am subjected to for several hours on a daily basis. Have some compassion for the occasional pre-emptive swerve into the front quarter panel of a blundering Toyota mini-van. It really is me or them. Just look at the white crust of Malox around my lips and the veins standing out like boiled sausages in my neck and I think you can feel my pain.
As for our professional attorney/client status I can assure you there is no issue. As of the moment that I shipped you two frozen crabs and a wooden Chinese popgun you were fully on retainer. Aren't those little popguns fun? And do look inside the barrel for an ...errr... organic gratuity before becoming so excited that you go blasting the little thing off in your partners meeting.
So are we on track for the M3? It's sounding to me like it's only a matter of time. I hope it has a nice big cupholder for the Mylanta bottle. See? I do listen to my attorney's advice.