Quote:
Originally Posted by SeriousEric
Willie, I need a gameplan. I have a '97 VW Golf with 140k miles and a bad transmission. I'm surrounded by Asians who drive like Stevie Wonder and I have a stomach ulcer from shitty California traffic that makes me snappish and prone to fits of rage at the motherfucking gook drivers!!!! See? It happened again right there. Could I be impaired?
I lay these puzzle pieces at your feet. Can you work your magic on a V-dub fireball, a spilled bottle of Malox in my lap, a dead Chinese neighbor and then Bob Ross me a beautiful painting of a brand new BMW M3 in my driveway?
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SE, I got through the V-dub fireball, threw in a glove that doesn't fit, spilled Malox (WW's fault) and the dead neighbor part of the game plan when I realized I had an ethical issue. I had to weigh this as "internet humor" ha ha ha, VS. was this a potential "Real World" act?
As an officer of the court, I have a duty to report any criminal acts by a client. Now as didn't you pay a retainer and nor would this be pro-bono (we are talking about a dead Chinese neighbor here in this scenario) you are not really a client. That said, I am still an officer of the court and see some potential legal problems here. We're looking at arson, fraud, murder, hate crimes, conspiracy charges at the bare minimum which could be brought based on your request.
Now, if this is real world then I would have to call the cops. But this is the internet, so where do we draw the line?
My conscious was bothering me so I called the state bar ethics hot line to seek clarification on my issues. Told them the situation, and they advised anyone living and driving in California should be allowed the defense of killing anybody, especially bad Asian drivers. We do have a law on the books here in Tejas about bad Asian drivers, but you can only use the brush guard on your truck to make contact with their cars.
The man with the state bar ethical division mumbled something about why a real Texan would want a yuppity BMW and he also advised Mylanta is better.
He told me I really need to get a hold of the California people as this "set of events" is taking place in California and jurisdiction would be there ultimately.
I put a call through to the California state bar ethics committee to get further clarification on my ethical dilemma. Once I hear back from them today I will let you know what we can do to get you your shiny new BMW M3. The fact that you live in California is a defense, so I'm feeling pretty good right now about this.