[HighRoller]

I propose a fees/fines system. Here's a first draft of a form to get things started.


* * * * FORM 11TY-69-50: VIPERALLEY FEES AND FINES * * * *




REAL NAME ___________________________


SCREEN NAME _________________________


DATE ___________________________

CHECK ONE:

[ ] PREPAYMENT OF LICENSE FEE
Note: deduct 10% as prepayment discount

[ ] FINES ASSESSED FOR UNLICENSED STUPIDITY




INSTRUCTIONS: FOR EACH INFRACTION, MULTIPLY FINE BY NUMBER OF OCCURRENCES AND WRITE APPROPRIATE TOTAL ON LINE PROVIDED. SUM ALL TOTALS. PAYMENT DUE IN FULL UPON SUBMISSION OF FORM.


SECTION A: GENERAL INFRACTIONS

__________ A.1) SPELLING ERRORS: $1 per word.

__________ A.2) REPLYING TO COMPLAINT ABOUT SPELLING ERRORS: $10 per post.

__________ A.3) OVERUSE OF EMOTICONS: Postings are permitted to contain one emoticon per 10 other alphanumeric characters. Fee for each emoticon above said threshold: $1

__________ A.4) DODGING EMOTICON FINE: Use of any character constructions designed to dodge the emoticon fine as set forth in A.3 is strictly prohibited. Fine: $50 per infraction.

__________ A.5) IMPROPER QUOTE BOXING: Each occurrence of a malformed QUOTE box: $5

__________ A.6) CAPS LOCK. $10

__________ A.7) rETARDED cAPS lOCK: oBVIOUS SIGNS THAT YOU CONTINUED TO USE YOUR shift KEY WHILE capslock WAS IN EFFECT: $100




SECTION B: NOOB LICENSE

__________ B.1) NOOB IMMUNITY: General immunity from all other noob infractions is available, but ONLY IF THIS FEE IS PAID IN ADVANCE OF ANY OTHER INFRACTION. Fee: $5.

__________ B.2) UNLICENSED NOOB POSTING: Posting without a noob license: $0.10 per post, up to a maximum of 20 posts.

__________ B.3) VETTE VIOLATION: Posting anything about a Corvette: $10 if occurrence is prior to reaching 100 post threshold. Above 100 posts: one corvette related posting is permitted for every 9 other postings. Each occurrence beyond that threshold: $3

__________ B.4) PRICK FACTOR. Being a prick: $50 for each occurrence prior to reaching 100 post threshold.

__________ B.5) OLD THREADS: Any thread which does not appear on the first THREE pages of the thread display are considered OLD THREADS. Each post that resurrects a unique OLD THREAD is subject to a fine calculated as follows: $10 flat fee, plus $5 per month (or fraction thereof) that the thread had aged. For example, if the last posting was 4 months, 3 days ago, that is a 5 month old thread and the fee would be $10 + (5 x $5) = $35. EXCEPTION: YOU MAY POST IN ANY THREAD THAT IS YOUNGER THAN YOUR ACCOUNT.


SECTION C: MONEY

__________ C.1) I'M RICH, BITCH. Claiming to be wealthier than everyone else here: $1000. Fine may be waived at moderator's discretion if you own one or more of the following: a) at least one form of transportation worth more than $2M; b) At least 500 acres of land; c) At least 1 bulldozer. Other exceptions may be granted at moderator's discretion.

__________ C.2) I'M A POOR COLLEGE STUDENT. Attempting to excuse lack of donation to site with the excuse "I'm just a poor college student" : $4 per infraction. Account to be suspended if sum total of C.2 infractions exceeds $20.

__________ C.3) TRUSTAFARIAN: Telling us that you got your money from your parents: $50

__________ C.4) GARAGE FLEET VALUE: Claiming that the value of your vehicles exceeds that of everyone else on the site: $50. Fee may be waived if at least one of your vehicles is a jet (8 passenger minimum), a large special-purpose construction vehicle, or is capable of firing weapons that could destroy anyone else's garage.



SECTION D: CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??

__________ D.1) FAILURE TO USE SNOPES. Posting anything that snopes shows is false: $50

__________ D.2) FAILURE TO USE GOOGLE. If typing the subject, or first line, of your posting into google returns results showing your posting to be false: $50

_(______)__ D.3) WALMART LOW LOW PRICES DISCOUNT: Any infraction under D.1 or D.2 involving a post containing "walmart" is eligible for a $1 discount. INSTRUCTIONS: FILL OUT D.1 or D.2 AS APPROPRIATE. WRITE THE APPROPRIATE DISCOUNT QUANTITY ON THIS LINE D.3 AND SUBTRACT IT FROM YOUR FINAL PAYMENT AMOUNT.

__________ D.4) FRIEND OF A FRIEND: If you are posting anything that you received from someone else, a $10 per-forward fee applies for each Forwarding step beyond 3.




That's all I have time for a the moment, but this should get us started.