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Chris, I'm surprised that with your experience at Whiteman AFB you have never been made aware of a little publicized fact about military jet aircraft. Single seat high performance jet aircraft that is. Did you ever wonder where those guys shit? They have a rectal collector boot that vents through a two inch tube just forward of the afterburners in the tail section. Pilots like to refer to this system as scat skivvies. NATOPS procedures call for a 5 second full burn if the pilot takes a shit to incinerate in place the fruits of the bowel and ensure none of the disgusting crap ever makes it to the ground. This works well if the pilot is compliant.
However, what likely occurred in your case was this. High performance aircraft such as the F/A-18 Super Hornet are capable of extreme "g" forces during maneuvers. Pilots use a combination of a "g" suit which compresses their lower extremities and extreme grunting both of which are directed at keeping the blood in the brain to prevent gray out. As a result of the repeated extreme grunting, 95% of these pilots suffer from world record distended protruding thrombosed external hemorrhoids. Now picture this. The pilot pulls hard positive "g's" during ACM and focused on the task at hand, is not aware of the leakage that occurs from grunting into the collector boot. Then as he pushes the stick hard forward inducing significant negative "g's", the hemorrhoidal blood blob is wistfully ejected from the vent tube as a fine mist only to reform into tiny droplets and meander aimlessly toward the earth and under only the rarest of happenstance land on the person of unsuspecting befuddled civilians. I don't know what the odds were on you taking a strike, but they are right up there with winning the powerball.
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