[WickedWahine]

Product description: Small square pastries filled with ingredients similar to egg, cheese, and ham - I think. Microwaved in the handy included 'crisper' sleeve, this is supposed to be a tasty and filling frozen breakfast product.

Experiment: My experience with the Hot Pocket Breakfast Pastry was spurred by a growling stomach but no time to leave the office and procure a more healthful morning meal. I followed the directions and slid the finished product onto a paper plate and allowed it to cool. It took some extensive work with my engineer's scale to push the product from the crisper due to a Mucilage-type of excretion that stuck the product to the crisper.

Test Result: The Hot Pocket Breakfast pastry is an idea whose time has not come. The product lacks the technology required for success. My first bite yielded a dry, crunchy, flavorless mass of flaky dough and burnt dairy dreg. My second bite did not rate much better, as it felt to be a chewy rubbery mass of egg with flecks of meat product that produced a flavor not unlike what a cheesy Milk Bone must taste like.

Closing Statements: Do not purchase and/or consume this product. If you have any in your freezer, dispose of it in a plastic bag encased within a solid steel drum. Check with your local refuse disposal company to see if certain restrictions/manifesting applies.