[vipe]

Originally Posted by samehereasthere

That his real name is Henny Youngman Obama....

"A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months." His answer to the medical insurance problem in America.

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means." His answer to the rising divorce rate in America and what it means to family values.

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." His desire to find "just the right church"

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." His fall back plan for health care.

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope." How he intends to keep the unemployment rate down by lying to your family.

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money." How he plans on making sure that everyone in America has a pot to pee in and a window to throw it out of.


WAR COMEDIANS FOR THE B MAN

That's what you do when you run for any poltical position you tell the masses what they want to hear. He's not doing or saying anything different than any presidential candidate before him.