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Happy birthday, Clint! Have a great time but you listen to unca' Eric on a couple of things.
- Don't sit on Bumbles The Clown's lap. That's not a flashlight in his pocket.
- Don't mix Jager bombs with too much carrot cake and cream cheese icing.
- Don't stick a party whistle in the stripper's butt. As much as I don't like to think of my boy going to waste his vital essences in one of those places I know it's going to happen. Just don't stick your party whistle in her butt when she puts it in your face for a dollar bill. You'll get beaten up.
- Don't start with 'X' when the policeman asks you to recite the alphabet backwards. It's 'Z'. The Jager bombs and cream-cheese carrot cake icing will be brewing ominously in you about then and it will be hard to concentrate but just remember what uncle Eric says - It's 'Z'. Don't worry about the whole alphabet. Practice the shit out of "Z, Y, X, W, V" while you're sober. If you can pull off those five with speed and confidence you'll pass. Nobody can recite the alphabet backwards anyway and the pigs know it.
- Don't pass out until you've sent your 'friends' home. You'll wake up with 'BALLS' written in sharpie across your forehead.
That's all the wisdom I have.
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